I just read on an on-line motorcycle news outlet (supposed to be news, anyway) that this bike, called the Ducati Multistrada 1200, is capable of "disappearing down a fire road".
It's blatant marketing bullshit lines like this that make me envision two types of people.
The first type is the lying sack of shit that spins these catchy lines.
I think of some upwardly mobile pinhead who believes he's a bit smarter, sneakier, and all-around better than you, especially when it comes to making and "growing" money.
I'd like to see this geek with dollar signs in his eyes take this 400-plus pound street bike down a fire road and disappear.
I'd be there with him every step of the way, watching every move.
If he as much as breathed a word about the bike being too big and heavy for that kind of stuff, or so much as broke a sweat, I think I'd wrap a steel tube trellis frame around his little pin head.
Then stuff a couple of desmodromic rocker arms up each of his nostrils.
Then ask him how he's feeling.
The second kind of guy I think of is the guy who actually swallows this shit.
There are guys on message boards (I, thankfully, don't know anybody in person who has of yet gotten in my face about this) who will hop up and down if you say the bike above is a street bike and should be kept on the pavement where it belongs and that you're asking for trouble taking it off-road.
They insist that "...you don't understand adventure bikes nor the guys that ride them..." and other bullshit that is supposed to make you feel that you're just too narrow-minded to explore a new challenge.
No, you goddam idiot.
It means I'm smart enough to know a 450-pound street bike when I see one, thank you very much.
Of course, off-road riding to these retards means tra-la-la-ing down some ultra-smooth grassy path where some little girl walks to go pick flowers for her mom.
I would love to see these proponents of this tomfoolery try to put his money where his adventure bike mouth is and show me what's up with the ability of the typical adventure bike and the adventure bike rider.
If I were to run into a guy on a bike like that out on the Pachaug rock pile loop, I'd actually hope I'd get to see the guy take a turn onto one of the trails off the dirt road.
My God, that would be a sight.
I'd just hope to fuck he had a cell phone to call AAA, because I don't.
Other than that, these bikes are OK. :)
Off to jerk,
-John
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