I Had to Lay 'Er down

No, not me, but that's what I've heard a million times from other motorcycle riders.
Typically, I'll hear a story about how somebody pulled out in front of them as they're cruising down the street, and that's when they'll have to take evasive action.
Usually, the words, "There was nothing else I could do." are added to this by the lay 'er downee.
And, just what is this evasive action?
Why, laying the bike down and sliding down the road on your ass, naturally.
Ain't that what you'd do?

To me, the times where layin' 'er down would make sense would be if you're riding on wet grass with street tires on a bike with poor brakes at a billion miles an hour and suddenly realize you're heading for a cliff.
Maybe layin' 'er down would cause the footpegs to dig into the turf and stop you in time.
Also, pretending that you're the main character from the Burt Reynolds movie Hooper and wanting to broadslide your bike under a moving tractor-trailer rig would make layin' 'er down a smart move.
Anybody tried that one lately?

I also see MotoGP riders layin' 'er down when they're reaching the far end of the gravel trap.
Guess they'd rather have the bike hit the air fence (hopefully there's one) first.

I've read useful tips on layin' 'er down.
In an April issue of Dirt Bike magazine from 1984 (yes, folks - the Stone Age), editor Rick "Super Hunky" Sieman said that layin' your old Harley down on the brake pedal side is the way to go.
That way, you won't bust-up the shifter.
Handy stuff to know.

Watching motorcycle racing with other people familiar with the art of layin' 'er down will have you all saying, "He had to lay 'er down!" often.
This is great fun that needs to be experienced by all motorcycle racing enthusiasts.
Even the commentators can get into it.

The racing careers of many a' great racer was ended in one great layin' 'er down episode.
Ever hear of Mick Doohan?
You should have by now, Buckwheat.
Read-up on it and see how he had a couple of doozies.

I need to go take a dump.
Later. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

Lie Ability

After I posted yesterday's installment, it was recommended to me that I tread lightly when letting the bloggers out there in Blogland know about Mr. Serious Geek because of liability.
I took the advice, but I simply removed the idiot's real name and gave him the name of Serious Geek.
The world must know about this retard. :)

Back when I was in my early 20s, and I was working at a different motorcycle shop called Central Sports, a pretty young lady walked in and started asking questions about dirt bikes.
Naturally, all of the guys flocked around her because they wanted to chat it up with her, and since she was either directed over to or just walked over there on her own, she ended up in front of the Parts Dept. counter where I was.

She started asking me questions about dirt bikes, asking things having to do with how safe they were to ride and how many people they could carry.
Right there, I should have thrown a red flag up in my mind, but I was too young and naive for that.
Yes, all of you young people out there - listen up real good to this one:
There are lots of things you'll experience in life that will make you wiser.
Some good and some bad.
Wisdom is something you cannot buy - you must learn it, either the hard way or confiding in a trusted elder.
Wisdom is this priceless experience of having gone through difficult situations and coming out in the end having learned a lesson from it.
The typical mouthy young punk?
He's got no wisdom.
This is why he sounds like he has a wise-assed answer for everything - they put a lot of effort into trying to sound genuinely wise with their well-rehearsed comeback lines, but it's all based on nothing.
No real experience, just what they've heard on TV or from some stupid song.
They're in the process of paying their dues, but still have a way to go.

Anyway, to make a long story short, after the pretty lady asked me her 20 questions about dirt bikes, she left.
A month or so later, I got a letter in the mail telling me I had to appear down at the Norwich, CT. courthouse for a deposition, a pre-trial hearing where both sides of a legal case gather information.
In this case, the young lady was actually a lawyer's assistant, and she was basically looking for a sucker (me) to open his mouth too willingly and give some information that her side could distort.
Basically, the case had to do with a stupid punk carrying another stupid punk as a passenger on a Honda CR-125R motocross bike, and since that motorcycle is not meant to carry a passenger, the idiot's foot got tangled in the rear wheel spokes.
A lawyer got involved, sued American Honda, and there I was, involved myself.

The young lady knew she was being deceitful when she first met me and asked all of those questions because when I met her in front of the courthouse, she said, "I bet you'd like to kill me now, huh?"
This was spoken with a wise-assed smirk on her face.
She got a kick out of it.

Inside at the meeting, the American Honda lawyer told me that what was going to happen was the other side was going to ask a bunch of questions as they probed for information.
They hoped to get words out of me that they could use in their case, even if it meant trying to trip me up and make me say something that I didn't mean to say.
Yeah, people.
It simply boiled down to a legal jousting match of who knew how to speak the best.
I hear that the word "justice" is derived from "joust", by the way.
I believe it, too.

I never found out how the case turned out.
I can only wonder.
As for what happened to me at that meeting, I simply said as little as possible while the snaky lawyer assistant lady and her boss whispered back and forth to each other.
It all seemed very childish and devious to me.

These days, you can bet your ass that whenever a stranger comes up to me and starts asking suspicious questions, I do throw a red flag up in my mind.

Off to jerk,
-John

Geeks R Us

Probably gonna' choose to drive the ol' Ranger into work today because there's supposed to be a good chance of a rainy afternoon.
That's because we're now into the hot and humid dog days of summer, remember.

When I pulled up to unload my bike for last night's Pachaug ride, our resident computer geek/troublemaker was busy washing the bikes that came back after being rented.
Mr. Serious Geek is in charge (oh, boy!) of some silly bike rental gig called Eagle Rider.
I would never, ever want to work for our Eagle Rider branch because working with this guy is asking for some serious frustration.
Why?
Either by design or just from having a very quirky personality, everyone that has to work with him eventually wants to strangle the guy.
Serious Geek, in every sense of the word.

I, myself, ain't the best at communicating with other people while at work, but this guy's in another league when it comes to pissing-off your coworkers with sassy comments and making-up silly rules.
One of his trademarks is making little signs he'll post up on the walls, your computer monitor, on your door, anywhere he'll think you'll see it.
These signs will always tell you something very silly, often pointless, and always irritating.

At one time, Serious Geek was the Excalibur Powersports (what it was called before Motorsports Nation) computer administrator/Head Geek.
God, what a bloody nightmare that was!
This epitomises how that went:

For two years, he was a giant pain in the ass, basically not trusting anybody to even look at the computer server, never mind wanting to go into that room to get a lousy toner cartridge for your printer - EVERYTHING had to get this geek's OK.
Then, lo!, and behold, two years later, it was discovered that the guy wasn't doing the pricing updates correctly with the Honda, Yamaha, Parts Unlimited, etc., price books!!!!!!!!
Wow, what a knee-slapper that was to me!
Poetic justice at it's finest:
This know-it-all geek with the sassy attitude - who thought everybody was too stupid and/or too untrustworthy to even touch the computer server room doorknob - couldn't even do the pricing updates!

Of course, when I told him I'd found that out (after two years of telling him that the pricing was always off), he not only denied it, but in typical Serious Geek fashion, tried to turn the discussion into putting the spotlight on what I'd done wrong.

This one's for you, buddy!!!!!!! *holds up both middle fingers*

Damn, that made me smile. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

Another One Bites the Dust

Another Sunday come and gone, and I just got finished washing the WR-250FY after another Sunday ride.
It was a good one - no crashes or close calls.
I did smack my pinky on my right hand against a tree when I came too close to it, but other than a bit of pain, nothing came of it.
I didn't even stop.
In fact, I rode the whole 37 mile loop without stopping to take a break.
I felt good afterwards back at the truck, too.

Another work week looming, and it's typically at this point in the week when I wonder how long I'll keep at this job.
It's waaaaaaay past the point of having become monotonous and giving me a feeling of having reached a dead end.
What next?

-John

Area 51

Now, that's what I call a thoroughly yummy snack.
Tastes good, and it's good for you.

This is my 51st post on my silly little blog.
My, my, my.
Where does the time go?
Maybe it rolled under the couch.
I think that's where my superball from 7th grade went, too.



We got a bunch of these sticker sheets sent to our shop by American Suzuki.
They're commemorating Suzuki's winning of the 2010 AMA Supercross series with factory rider Brian Grungy, who is caricatured on this sheet.

Face it:
The ONLY reasons he was able to pull that off was because a couple of other faster riders were out for the season, and his remaining chief rival, a guy named Villagepostoffice, drilled himself into the ground one time too many.
Period.
Any questions?



I even got my own stick of Suzuki lip balm.
Guess I can use this whenever the weather get balmy.
That's the balm, right there.
I'm totally Suzukied-out.
Too bad I ride Yamahas by choice.
Yes, people, when you know how they're built... :)


In today's MotoGP race from Assen, rookie Ben Spies got a 4th.
Good job.

-John

Sick Lingo

It wasn't too long ago when this is what you'd think of when somebody said "sick" to you.
The only thing missing is the orange juice.



Today, this is what sick usually means.
That suit is sick.


It's funny to note how popular buzz words come and go over the years.
When I was a teen, "cool", "man", and "deadly" were popular.
Cool and man are still used today, but deadly didn't survive, and I think if you use the word deadly to describe your nasty new bike to somebody these days, they might think it's a dangerous bike to ride.
No, no.
What you need to do is call your new bike sick.
If you say that it's sick, everyone will know that it's cool.
Ged'dit?

This is an interesting subject, and I'll have to touch on it more in the near future.

Off to jerk,
-John

Dog Days of Summer

No, that's not when you let your dog out to romp around in the back yard.
Those are the kind of days we're getting now:
The hot, hazy, and muggy ones that make you want to reach for a lemonade and a shady spot.

They can make you uncomfortable, but the good thing about this kind of weather is when pretty girls dress for it.
You know what I mean?
That's often very interesting.
Hey, I'm a guy and I've got two eyes, you know. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

Biker Chicks

Well, what do we have here?
These chicks would look even hotter in the frying pan.

By the way, my birthday is only 6 months from today.
Anybody gonna' get me something good?
I said get me something good.
Not get me good. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

The Longest Day

Well, yesterday at work did feel like the longest day, but what I mean is that yesterday was also the first day of summer (summer solstice), which is the day where the sun rises earliest and sets the latest.

Solstice is an old word meaning "sun standing still".
For a few days, the sunset time won't change, but will then start getting shorter as we then move toward winter.
Brrrrrr.
Get me my parka.
If you know about the 23.5 degree tilt of the Earth's axis, you know why this all happens.

Off to jerk,
-John

Another Week Older and Wiser

Work can sometimes make you feel tired.

..............................................................................

I especially like it when some knucklehead pulls a tire out of the rack, drools over it, and puts it back with the label facing inward.

Nice attention to detail, you slob.

You're welcome.

..................................................................................

Yeah, another week starts, and what have we all learned from the last one?

Here's one thing I just learned:

This year's 4th of July holiday is a rip off since it falls on Sunday, a day I'd have off work anyway.

That's some seriously poor scheduling.

...................................................................................................

Here's something that I'm sure a lot of you will find shocking:

There's a whole lot of shit (lies and misinformation) out there on the Internet.

Just go to YouTube and type into the search bar anything remotely controversial like UFO, 911, Free Masons, or whatever your little heart desires.

There are some interesting videos to watch, but there are a lot of ones that look like they were made by a 2nd grader and it's easy to tell the guy responsible knew little about the subject.

..........................................................................................

Speaking about UFOs:

When I was a kid in the 4th grade, UFOs were having a resurgence in popularity with interest from the publishers, news media, and general public.

I found this interesting, and still have an interest in it, today.

However, I don't believe that they're all from off the planet Earth.

In fact, I doubt that the vast majority are from another planet.

I think that most of these sightings are of craft built on good ol' Earth that you and I hopefully won't find out about, and the UFO bullshit is a handy way of covering up the truth.

....................................................................................

Yeah, lies.

As you go through life, you find out how often lies are used.

And, you get to meet people and feel the effects of people who think it's no big deal whatsoever to lie to you.

Politicians come to mind.

..............................................................................................

Off to jerk,

-John

Better Late Than Never

This pic comes from April of 2003.


Had another good ride out in the Pachaug state forest on the WR-250FY tonight.
35 miles worth, and no crashes or even a close call, and I was putting the bike where I wanted it.
Those Bridgestone M22/M23 tires are magic on the hard stuff out there - no wonder they still make those tires after 29 years in production.

I worked up a pretty good sweat, and by the time I got back to the truck, my heart was a' pumpin' pretty good, indeed.
I like the physical exertion.
It makes me feel good, somehow.

Earlier this morning, I watched MotoGP rookie Ben Spies (pronounced spees) take his first podium finish (a 3rd).
Go, Ben.

-John

Hardly Ridden. Many New Parts.

If you want to get a good laugh sometime, go and read a few used motorcycle or ATV ads on Craigslist or some place like that.
Not only will you be chuckling reading some serious blatant lies and bullshit stories as these guys try to sell their junk for outrageous asking prices, but you can easily tell who wasn't paying attention in English and grammar class.
Proper spelling and punctuation is for faggots, anyway, right?

Here's a typical ad:

Kawski KDX
Runs good.no scraches in plastics just miner scuffs from rideing the bike in the woods.
Starts right up new piston and rings not evan broken it yet
less then 10 hours on new rings
Needs nothing
power valve just cleaned
Air filter just cleaned
$2200 firm
no trades
need room in the garag for more toys you know how it goes
call BillyBob on my cell XXX-XXX-XXXX

I just made that up, by the way, so I'm not displaying this and violating any poor sap's copyright, even though I'd be personally embarrassed if I wrote that, myself, and would hope that nobody had even read it to begin with. :)

Notice how the theoretical idiot won't even tell us what model year his garbage scow it supposed to be.
If he did, there's a 30/70 chance it would be wrong, anyway, and when he's gracious enough to include a horrible cell phone pic of the bike, you can often tell the guy doesn't know much at all about the vehicle he's selling.
How?
Because the description won't match the pic in a lot of cases.
Either the year, make, and model is wrong, or the bike (which is claimed to be mint) is a pile of shit, or both.
I especially get a kick out of it when the nerd writing the ad will go to great lengths to convince you the bike is a perfect masterpiece of motorcycle care, but the lousy pic shows a beat-up, neglected wreck that would need $$thousands$$ to be put into the condition he claims it's in.

Really slick.

On top of that, normal everyday maintenance items that will have to be done to keep the bike in proper working order are bragged about by the pinhead, as if he went waaaaaaaay out of his way to keep the bike in such lovely condition for you.
Things like chain lube and adjustment and air filter cleaning.
Yeah, they'll point out that the air filter was just cleaned.
Wow.
Might as well point out that you had to put gas in the tank at some point, too, you moron.
I'm not too impressed by that, Buckwheat.
In fact, if anything, the first thing I think of is that you never did it once in the 3 years you owned the bike, and only did it this one time in hopes of improving you chances of getting your $3,000,000 for your wretch of a crummy bike.

To close the ad, the bum will make it sound like he's got gold, something you can only come to him for:

$10,000,000,000 firm!
Cash only!
Hurry!

Well, excuse me for living.
I'll be right over.
Just as soon as my toenail polish dries. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

The Star Wars Syndrome

I use a homemade, laminated card like this while at work as a guide when reading written lines on paper.
The robot is from a colorized version of the 1927 silent film called Metropolis.



Here's a behind-the-scenes pic while making the movie.

I keep reading that this film was (and still is) a sci-fi film landmark, but I've never seen the whole movie.
Just little clips here and there.
I wonder if, when I eventually watch the whole film, I'll think it is sooooooooo fantastic, like all of the reviews I've seen written about it say it is.
Guess there's only one way to find out, and if it turns out I don't think the movie lives up to the hype, that's what I call...

The Star Wars Syndrome.

Back in 1977, the very first Star Wars movie came out, and it was a big, big deal.
Everywhere you went, people were chatting about it.
My classmates in school couldn't shut up about it, some going to see it many times.

Since going to see a movie wasn't in my dad's interest since it wasn't bass fishing or golfing, I didn't see it until my aunt and uncle brought me to see it a whole year later.
When the movie started to play on the screen, I buckled down and prepared myself to see this great movie that everyone blew up into something that sounded so great.

Well, by the time I was half way through it, I realized that I wasn't watching anything other than just another movie that had nice-looking (for 1977) special effects.
In fact, I liked the original Dirty Harry Clint Eastwood movie a whole lot better.
I believe what spoiled it for me was the solid year of hype I'd been exposed to, building this film up in my mind to something out of this world, something a movie couldn't match in real life.
I left actually wondering what the big deal was all about.
Maybe I didn't drink enough soda.

So, whenever I run across similar situations where hype doesn't match the real thing, I call it The Star Wars Syndrome. :)
Neat-o, huh?

Off to jerk,
-John

Git Off My Property

Oh-oh.
Looks like somebody's trespassing.
That'll learn 'em.
............................................................................

How's this yellow font look, eh?
Sure makes it hard to see the words as I type them over a white background.
Geez, the stuff we do for vanity, huh?

I've been confronted by property owners for trespassing while riding my dirt bikes before.
Their attitude was much like as shown in the above pic:
This is my property, and you better git off it because you don't have my permission to be here.

That's a normal enough reaction, I think.
I'm not the kind of guy who goes sneaking around and wants to go rip up some farmer dude's cornfield and get his old-timer heart a'pumpin' due to excitement.
Whenever I wound up trespassing, it was because I'd gotten lost and came upon some guy out in the woods.

Typically, the old buzzard would get all red in the face with veins popping out of his neck and forehead at the sight of a teenager on a dirt bike sitting on his hayfield, cornfield, useless swamp land, etc.
Didn't matter, just as long as it was his and not mine.
Usually, they'd threaten to have me arrested, or impound my bike, or shove a stick through my wheel spokes so i could run away, or call the cops, or all of the above.
Since I knew i was there completely by accident, I didn't feel like I was a criminal, and i just wanted to be able to get out of the situation with my bike and body intact - if the old coot (and they were always old coots) yelled at me but nothing else happened, that seemed fair enough.

I have to admit, though, that I could at least understand and respect the old buzzards' points of view, much more than my fanatical enviro-neighbor's on dirt bike trespassing (see my older posts for details on that environ-mentalist).
That's because they were reacting just as I'd expect and in a way that made sense.
That's because these guys were all pre-hip-dip era and hadn't gone through any of that stupid new-age brainwashing like my neighbor did.
Yes, folks.
Peace and love can make you pretty dumb.

Off to jerk,
-John

Life's a Beach

This looks like a No Suntanning Zone.

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Life's a Beach was actually a casual(ty?) wear clothing company from the late 1980s that was at least partially owned by then-superstar motocross and supercross racer Rick Johnson.

Nice bit of useful trivia, huh?

I am full of it. :)

...................................................................................

I'm starting to finally move out of my spell of feeling rotten.

This morning, I feel almost normal.

Luckily, Terrible Tuesday wasn't too terrible - the number of packages delivered by UPS and FedEx were around 33, which allowed me to exit the building by 8:20pm last night, a vast improvement over last Tuesday's 11:30pm, which was when this all started.

I'm not getting any younger, and this is my body telling me that it demands a reasonable amount of beauty sleep each night.

...............................................................................................

Just got another kick out of the same guy who is supposed to be engineering his own solution to having to replace his front sprocket nut each time he removes it.

Now, he wants to remove a part called the "tipover switch", the thing that shuts the engine off if your bike tips over.

I think next, he'll want to remove the crankshaft.

Just because. :)

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Off to jerk,

-John

Flying High Again

Here's astronaut Buzz Aldrin, again.
Hmmmmmm.
No wonder they call him Buzz.



I woke up feeling a bit better today, but today could be another Terrible Tuesday.
Terrible Tuesday, the day when orders from Friday and Saturday start coming in.
At least the weather for today is supposed to be nice and sunny.



I found out that I still remember how to ride the WR-250R, and I'll be taking it to work today, too.
In fact, it's time to get a move on.



Off to jerk,
-John

The Clutch Is On the Left

I'm gonna' ride my WR-250R into work this morning, something that I ain't done since Tuesday, I believe.
Rainy weather and grocery shopping will do that to you.
Hope I remember how to ride the bike and know where the clutch lever is.

I still feel burned-out and irate.
Wheel C how the day goes.

Off to jerk,
-John

Things Really ARE Hot on the Moon

I made this waaaaaaaay back in 2001, when I got my first PC.

The Buzz in the pic is supposed to be astronaut Buzz Aldrin.

................................................................

I'm basically doing this post just to keep at least one a day going.
I haven't felt too ambitious all weekend.
I got plenty of sleep last night to make-up for what I missed during the past work week, but I still feel mentally drained.
Figures that it's the 13th.

Right now, I am really not liking my job too much at all.
Over the years, I've come upon periods where I ponder the idea of quitting this line of work after doing it for over half my life.
I still enjoy my motorcycles and have met some nice people, but sometime, I just feel that everything else about my job can go to hell and stay there.
Ever feel that way?

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

-John

Miracle Cure

Last night was the first night in a week where I got nearly a full eight hours of sleep.
I got 7-and-a-half, so that's close enough.
I hadn't felt well all week long, and this is because I was getting 4 or 5 hours a night - not enough, people.
I'm happy to say that this morning, instead of feeling like a zombie fresh from digging myself out of the grave, I feel much as my normal self.

The weather this weekend is supposed to be the kind where we could get some rain at any point.
This is good for traction in the dirt where you actually have something resembling normal dirt, which is the kind you can sink a knob into (I'm referring to the knobs of a knobby tire on an off-road motorcycle).
Good for sand, too.
Not so good on all of theose rocks and tree roots that are exposed, and those roots can be as slippery as greased grease.
I know this from first-hand experience.
I'll still be prepping my fire-breather WR-250FY for a ride on Sunday, though.

Here's another GRRMX thingy:

Grandma's Ready to Repair Mom's Xylophone.

Yeah.
You didn't know my mom used to play the xylophone?
And my grandma was her xylophone tech?
Geez, where has your head been?
In the sand?
You ostritch. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

Today's Silly Shit

Can you read between the lines?

Hi! :)

Incoming!

Station all batteries!

Hmmmmm.

I wonder if these glasses are dishwasher safe.

Off to jerk,

-John

All the Nuts Ain't On Your Bike

As I've written about before, I just love cruising motorcycle message boards and forums to learn what other guys and girls are doing with their motorcycles.
Sometime, I can learn things that I didn't know.
A lot of times, I see that others are doing what I've been doing since day one.
And then, there are those that want to show everybody how smart they are. :)

Currently, there's a guy on one of these forums that ain't too happy with how the front sprocket of his bike is held on.
For some reason, this rider thinks he needs to change his front sprocket twice in the same day so that he can gear his bike well enough to satisfy himself, and this is just for a recreational ride, not a guy riding for points or money.

His bike uses what's called a locking nut to hold on his front sprocket.
This nut has a raised rib going around it.
The shaft that the nut treads onto has two depressions in it, 180 degrees apart.
Once you torque the nut to proper specification, you take a hammer and punch and hit the raised rib, pushing part of it down into the depressions in the shaft.
This is known as "staking" the nut in place.

Now, lets's take a step back and think about why the guys who designed this motorcycle did it this way.
Can anybody out there in Blogland tell me why the guy putting this nut onto the shaft has to stake the nut down?

Anyway, this rider I'm talking about doesn't like the fact that he's got to stake and unstake his nuts.
Hmmmm, that sounds painful, don't it? :)

Yes, folks, because you're deforming that raised rib on the nut by staking and unstaking the nut, you're supposed to use a brand new nut when you want to change front sprockets.
Why?
Because, if you try to be a wise guy and use the old nut over again, the part you bent from unstaking will probably line up with the shaft depressions when you tighten the nut back up.
Geeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Imagine that.

Well, this guy doesn't like the idea of having to use a brand new nut every time he needs to change his front sprocket to go on his recreational leisure ride.
When he was told that using the same ol' nut ain't a good idea for the above reason, he told the community that he was going to engineer his own solution to the problem.

Think about that one for a minute, folks.
Keep in mind that a brandy-new, original equipment nut that belongs on there to begin with would cost this rider about $2.

What you all think of that?
I'd really, really like to know. :)

And, as part of today's GRRMX acronym decoding, here's another idea:

Gonna Really Retaliate against My X-wife.

How's that? :)
This would be coming from a guy who says, "My ex? Yeah, I still miss her...but my marksmanship is getting better all the time..." :)

Off to jerk,
-John

Time Ain't on My Side

Forgot my camera on my desk at jerk, so that's a bit of a pisser.
What I was going to do was post a couple pics of the time displayed at the bottom, right corner of my PC monitor screen, though I'm not sure it they'd even come out looking very well.
11:30pm is when I walked out the door from work, and right now, I feel a bit tired and red-eyed.
Tuesdays are the heaviest days for us to receive parts from our suppliers since the orders we take accumulate over half the day on Friday and all of Saturday.
Monday, these orders get processed, and since a couple of our main suppliers have warehouses one shipping day away from us, POOF!, here it is on Tuesday.

Don't think I'll be riding the bike into jerk today because I need to do a bit of grocery shopping and get some things I forgot to buy on Saturday, my shopping day.
If it's going to be a rainy day sometime this week, I hope it's today.
You hear that up there, clouds?

I made a promise that I'd come-up with something that stands for the acronym GRRMX.
Too bad I'm too burned-out to think of something good right now.
I will, though, you can count on that.
Here's one:
Grr. My X-ray.
That's from a guy who's just got a broken bone in his body and the doctor is confirming the break by showing the guy his X-ray of the broken bone.
How's that for being silly, huh?
Do we like that one?
Don't worry - that's just a start, and there's more to come on that.

Another thing that sucks is that my local supermarkets ain't stocking Folgers coffee in the DARK flavor.
What gives?
Has it been discontinued?
Is it too dark?
Don't be afraid of the dark.

I got to get a move on because there's a page-long list of customers that need to called since i relieved their parts too late to call them and tell them about it.
I don't think they'd like their phone to be ringing at 11:00pm and have me on the line telling them about it, even though I'm sure they're always favorably impressed with my smooth and masculine voice.
Especially the ladies of the houses I call.
All in a day's work. :)



Off to jerk,
-John

Three Ring Circus

Hmmm.
These look rather festive, don't they?



Well, I survived yesterday, although I didn't feel all that great.
Felt kinda' irritable and, basically, just wanted the day to end.
Well, now it has, and, thank God, I feel better.
Look out, world. :)


I picked up some shortbread cookies with flashy color sprinkles on them.
The guys ain't eating them too quickly, so I decided to help them along.
They look so fun and exciting just sitting there in the package, like they want to be full of action and color right inside your mouth.
Hmmmm.
Sounds like a circus, a circus for the inside of your mouth.
This, I have to try.





Wonder what the dentist would think about this.
Might make him hungry.
Get your own circus, pal.



I put one of those cookies in my mouth, and you know what?
It was exciting.
I could feel all of that circus action going on inside of there.
I felt the lady up on the trapeeze and the lion tamer.
The little car with the 20 tall clowns getting out of it was a rush.
I started to get a little nervous when they brought out the dancing bears and the trained horses, which felt like an earthquake.
Then, there were the elephants.
Wow.
Lots of people up in the stands hootin' and hollerin', munching on popcorn and cotton candy.
At that point, I decided to swallow it before they brought out the grand finale of the Human Cannonball being shot out of a cannon.
That might have hurt. :)



Off to jerk,
-John

Body Language

Why does my nose look so big?






Your body speaks to you.
Did you know that?
Right now, mine is saying to me, "Hey. I've got something that I'll need some time to get rid of, so take it easy on me. OK?"


This morning, I woke up with a headache and I feel a bit tired and worn-out, so I may be fighting off some strange illness that some joker gave me when he coughed in my direction during the past week.
That shit does happen, you know.


On the positive side, the weather today is supposed to be gore-gee-us, so I'm definitely riding my bike to jerk.
Maybe tonight, after the long, hard day is done, I'll post another one to let everybody know I survived the day.


Off to jerk,
-John

Post-Ride Pics

There were a bunch of wet spots out there on the big, bad trails today.
Mere seconds after this pic was taken, it was straight to the garage for a washin'.



One-day weekends are about half the length of normal two-day weekends, according to my advanced mathematics.
So, when you've been working 6 days a week for a long time, you get used to it.
You also tend to try and make the most of your time, and this definitely applies to when I ride my motorcycles.
I've always liked riding late in the day when the sun is getting low on the horizon.
This is at least partially due to my eyesight, which is not at it's best when it's very bright out.
I wear my eyeglasses when I ride instead of wearing my contacts because my contacts are too effected by wind, making for crummy vision.
My eyeglasses are able to provide reliable vision at the expense of making my beautiful eyes look distorted from the observer's point of view.




There.
That's better.
Here's a tip:
Never chew on your eyeglasses because you'll put unsightly teeth marks on them.
You got me?




Who needs an air freshener dangling from the rear view mirror when you've got sweaty riding gear along for the ride home?
Mmmmmmmmm-mmmmmmm.





Available from your local supermarket's frozen isle. :)
I think I should wash the poor thing.



-John

Occupational Hazzard

I didn't put up a second post like I've been doing on Saturday because I didn't feel all that great.
While I was at work, I felt it was taking forever to get through what I had to do (for free) before I could get the hell out of there.
I felt less than pleased, and I didn't feel good at all.
Last night, I kept waking up because my right forearm hurt for some unknown reason, like it had a Charlie horse going on.
What's a Charlie horse?
Look it up!

Sometime, you can catch all manner of weird illness somebody is carrying around, especially if that somebody is inconsiderate enough to cough or wheeze in your face.
Noel-As-In-Mole did that to me once.
I'm gonna' get even with you, little buddy!!! :)
Luckily, I feel mucho better this morning, so let's hope I still feel OK once WR-250FY riding time comes up.
I just might go for a street rip on the WR-250RX this morning to get myself all primed up. :)

I just took a frozen pop out of the freezer.
Orange.
Mmmmmmm, yummy.
I just had to turn up the juice on the freezer, though, because some of them weren't even frozen after sitting in there since yesterday afternoon.
That'll learn 'em.

My Facebook account is taking off nicely.
I don't know if I'll get my number of friends up to 3,593,609 like some people have done somehow, but it's a nice way to communicate with others without having anybody cough in your face. :)

-John

Keeping Up with the Joneses

I don't remember giving you readers my full name, yet, so here it is:

John Kuzmenko.
John Aaron Kuzmenko.
If I leave out the middle name, it can be John Kuzmenko lll, since my dad and his dad were named John.
Here's why I'm giving my name:

Even though it's been around since the olden days of 2004 (or so I have read), I've finally joined yet another Internet social network called Facebook.
I don't know how to use it and navigate it very well at this second in time, but I'll learn it before long.
Having a decent brain is good for those kinds of things, you know.

See, ever since I first pushed a key on my own PC, I've been a member of AOL, still using them for my main Email box as well as using their AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) every day (and my AIM user name is YZFR6N).
Well, for some reason I'm not sure of, the AIM program I have downloaded on my PC suddenly quit connecting to the Internet when I wanted to sign on.
That means for the time being, I'm using another version of AIM called AIM Express, one that doesn't require a program to be loaded into your PC.
It's better than not having it at all, but what sucks about it is that when opening some websites, I'll get knocked off of the AIM Express and have to sign in, again.

I've been doing this for about a month, and every time I sign in with AIM Express, I'm also looking at a big blue button coaxing me to join Facebook.
Blue seems to be their color of choice since I see a lot of blue around there.
I wonder how many high-level meetings it took to decide on that one.
Anyway, since I'd been asked to join it by some of my friends over the last few years (and I was feeling a bit bored before bed last night), I held my breath and joined Facebook.
Funny.
I don't feel any different.

Naturally, once I finished submitting my information to sign-up with Facebook, those invites to join over the years were still there, so I naturally said yes to the people I recognized.
Saw plenty of my relatives on there, too, both blood relatives and non-blood relatives (like in-laws).
I also saw plenty of ones from names I don't recognize, and I wonder how many of those are acquaintances from Internet message boards or from buying or selling stuff over the Internet.
Time will tell.

So, it's off to jerk for another freebie Saturday (I'm not salaried for Saturdays, but it's done to catch-up on stuff that I can't do during the week).
I'll probably post another one tonight, too.

-John

Cold as Ice

I didn't take any new pics yesterday because I felt tired and a bit burned-out from lack of sleep.
So, I decided to pick a few that I have saved on my ol' PC.
This one is from December 20, 2009.
Brrrrrrrrr.
What a difference six months can make, huh?
I don't miss this kind of weather one bit, let me tell you.
It's amazing how having the Earth's axis tilted 23.5 degrees can change the weather, ain't it?
Who did that, anyway?
Did too many people stand on one end of the Earth one day and the Earth tilted from the weight?
Hmmmmmmm.





These are the front brake calipers that made their way onto my SV-650K7.
They came from a GSX-R750K3, and they were completely disassembled to inspect them, making sure they were ship-shape and ready to go onto my SV without a malfunction.
Special adapter brackets were purchased from a guy in England in order to mount these to the SV fork legs, but it was well worth it.
Together with the Nissin master cylinder from a GSX-R600K7, the brakes went from shit to excellent in one fell swoop.
Now you know.





When I was spending money to modify the DR-Z400SM (the motard - the dirt bike with street bike tires), i decided to sell a lot of my guitar equipment that I wasn't using as much as I once did.
This is a beautiful Rickenbacker model 360 electric guitar.
I kinda' wish I still had it, but, no use crying over spilt milk.
I put it up on EBay, starting the bids at around $350.
By the time it sold, some guy from France bought it for $1,200.
I bought it, myself, back in 1997 or 1998 for about $350, and I didn't realize it was going to sell for more.
A very well-made guitar that felt good in your hands.





When I had the DR-Z400SM, I was modifying it and buying and selling things so much, I decided to buy a used, complete engine with the intention of building-up this second engine into a 470cc fire breather that could potentially make 60hp.
This required all of the mods my 45hp engine had, plus a few more, like a 5mm stroked crankshaft and bumpier camshafts and bigger valves.





As time went on, I decided to scrap the 470cc DR-Z engine project, and I still have the disassembled DR-Z engine sitting on a counter top to this very day.
Need any of these parts?
Just drop me a line...



Luckily, I got about 7 hours of sleep last night, so I feel better than I did 24 hours ago.
So, right now, I'm gonna' get my ass in gear and get out the door early enough to take a nice rip on the WR-250R before I head into work.
That's always a good thing.

Off to jerk,
-John

In the Powerband

It's my new powerband!
The color matches my bikes perfectly, too.
If you have one of these, your bike will really rip it up, like it or not.
Who wouldn't like it?
If you've ever wondered what people are talking about when they mention a powerband, here it is in all it's glory, folks.
You should get one, too.





This powerband serves double duty, you know.
Not only does it make your bike very fast, but it also can give you a vigorous workout, too.
This is how you do tongue curls.
Ain't that cool?
You know it is.





Here's a closeup of the tongue curl in the powerband.
You stretch the powerband from your tongue to your chin.
This strengthens your tongue when done in three sets of ten reps, 5 times a week.
This is important if you want to talk a whole lot.
If you want to flap your lips a lot, your tongue needs to be able to keep up without getting tired, people.





The powerband lets you do another workout called lip-ups.
Yeah, that's right, Lenny - lip-ups.
Everyone can appreciate a strong and healthy set of lips, especially if you're going to be flapping them all day.
Here's a pic of the powerband in mid-lip-up.
What a workout!





What the heck is a topia?
I don't know what it is, but I just called you one.
You topia!
I hope it's something nice. :)



Off to jerk,
-John

Giving a Hand

It's The Hand that Terrorized Plainfield.
At theaters now!



I'd been walking past this part of a mannequin sticking out of a box for a few months, now, and I finally decided it was high time to do something with this little fella.
No loafing around allowed in this place, buddy, whether you have a whole body attached to you or not.
I'm not playing any favorites, pal, unless you're special.





Now, just what do you do with a spare hand?
It does make a pretty good head scratcher for those moment when you're deep in thought or really straining your brain with a difficult problem you've got to figure out.
Hmmmmmm.
Now, what is 2+2?...




You can use it as a nose picker that allows you to keep your fingers clean.
Damn!, that'd be a hot seller, don't you think?
Everybody picks their nose, right?
I know that you do!






You could use it to break into houses in your neighborhood without leaving any of those pesky fingerprints to get you busted.
Tired of wishing you had that neat-o something-or-other that your neighbor has?
Wham!
Now, it can be yours while you sit innocently at home sipping a lemonade and watching National Geographic on TV.
The Hand can get the job done for you.






Shocking, I know.
But if politicians steal, why can't we?
You're just keeping up with the Jonses.






Hey, can I help it if I've got a simple mind and I'm amused by simple things?






A nice, shiny row of new dirt bikes.
When I was 15 years old, I'd be extremely excited to look at this line of fine motorcycles.
Today, I still am. :)







Now, here's a fine unit.
This is obviously intended for the rider who's into Barbie and Jem, eh?
Why do you think I have one, myself?



Off to jerk,
-John

Making Words

When I click the little shortcut icon for my blog, I'm brought to the page called the Dashboard.

Must be important because it's got a capital D on the front of it.

The post entries are starting to pile up, with this being the 25th since May 11th, and what it is being written about is just everyday stuff I go through.

You may wonder, Hey, John, why so many posts?

Answer:

I like it. :)

When I started this blog, I promised myself that I'd post every day with lots of pics.

I missed putting one up on the 16th, but I think I've made up for it by doing a few double posts on the same day.

I've also taken lots of silly pics like the one above.

Ain't I silly?

Huh?

It's good to be able to laugh at myself.

I can afford to, you know, since I'm so strikingly handsome.

I was born so fortunate, don't you think?

Thanks!, mom and dad, for the good genes!

I wear size 30x30, by the way. :)

......................................................................................................................................

In the 6th grade, I had a teacher who was a bit infamous for being an ex-nun.

The reason I'll never forget that is because my mother was a heavy-duty Roman Catholic (and I, too, was born and raised as one).

When I told my mom that my teacher was a nun before a teacher, my mother put her hand over her mouth and said, "Well, as long as she didn't take her final vows, yet..."

I guessed that taking those vows basically "marries" you to the church, and you can't quit without committing a mortal sin (a big no-no).

I didn't think my teacher had taken them, from what I remembered, so I think she passed my mother's scrutiny. :)

Anyway, this teacher (I think the name was Goskewitz - damn!, what a memory!) would make kids in class write a story of some sort if they did something stupid to deserve some kind of punishment.

I had to write a few for doing silly, harmless stuff like chatting when I should have been shutting up, and I realized that I liked doing it.

I remember writing one about my moronic cousin who lived next door to me, the guy who liked taking a hammer and breaking all kinds of stuff with it.

I think smashing a plastic toy with his hammer somehow hypnotized him, going by the glazed look in his eyes while doing this.

Weird.

But, since today he's a jailbird who's been in and out of the slammer a few times for doing more stupid tricks, I guess the writing was on the wall.

Do YOU like to smash things with a hammer?

Get help now. :)

..............................................................................................................

I got my first personal computer in January of 2001.

I joined the Internet party about 5 years after it exploded all over the place.

Not that I had any kind of resistance to computers, but just because I procrastinated, much like my getting myself a cell phone so that I may join the ranks of the text messagers.

I WILL get one.

Soon.

A nice one.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

Right away, after I got the hang of surfing the Internet, I started joining message boards, mainly having to do with motorcycles.

Every day since then, I've been reading and posting all over the place, making Internet friends and enemies, alike.

Mostly friend, though - the few who didn't like me felt that way because nobody else had the balls or knowledge to tell them that they were cleaning their air filters the wrong way, for example.

I did, and this offended them.

Tough shit. :)

You're posting on a public forum, Bucky.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

There once was a website called MotoGPnews.com .

I think it's still actually up there, but is now only a pale shell of it's former self of back in the glory daze of 2005.

MotoGP racing is the top level in motorcycle road racing, and I like watching and following this series to this very day.

I forgot how I found this website, but I quickly joined once I did find it.

The MotoGPnews site had both a forum to write your silly comments back and forth to the other members, as well as a section that contained humorous, fictional accounts of what had gone on the previous race weekend to all of the top stars of the series.

The stories would have Valentino Rossi throwing spaghetti sauce at Sets Gibernau, and the riders were given affectionate nicknames like "wop" (for the Italians) and "donkey chaser" (for the Spaniards).

They were pretty rude, and it was right up my alley.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

After getting a load of that, I started posting funny shit on the forum along with the other crazy members, and one of the head honchos there asked me to start submitting stories that would cover the AMA Superbike series, the catch being that I had to poke fun at it, especially at a British rider riding the AMA Superbike series that season named Neil Hodgson (because this head honcho claimed he didn't like him).

He didn't have to ask me twice - I started right away.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

So, I spent the 2005 season doing that, and I enjoyed it.

The members of the message board liked it, too, even though this forum was based somewhere in Europe and Americans like myself were few and viewed with suspicion.

As luck would have it, though, by the fall, after some kind of clash between a couple of bigshots on the website, the place basically had the plug pulled.

Just after I sent in a hefty donation, too.

What you see these days is nothing compared to how it once was.

That was a fun time for me.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

So, my point is that writing this silly stuff for you to read is nothing new to me, and whether or not you think it's good or bad is up to you to decide.

It's as easy and simple to me as tying my shoe.

Damn!, another knot. :)

..............................................................................................................

Off to jerk,

-John