I Scored an 85 on my Blood Test

Hmmmmm.
I wonder how long she's been smoking.


I never got into doing burnouts or other silly shit with my bikes because I didn't have them handed to me free of charge as a plaything to get me out of my parents' hair.
*cue violin*
I had to get my first job at age 15, working for the Town of Sprague, clearing brush around the Baltic reservoir.
With this money, I bought my first bike - a $100 P.O.S.
It was a 1972 Yamaha AT-2, a dual-purpose bike that had seen one too many retards in charge of it's upkeep.
I had to learn from scratch how to ride it and maintain it.
I even had to learn how to install a new part called a contact breaker (AKA points) just to get it running.
My point is:
I wanted to ride a dirt bike really badly, and there was no way I even remotely wanted to do any silly, abusive shit to the bike.
It was my only one, and I'd worked to earn the money for it, and I wanted to keep riding it.
I had to make it last.
Even though I call it a P.O.S., that's only because it was what I today call a piece of shit - it wasn't in excellent mechanical condition like I eventually had the rest of my bikes that I bought after that first one.
I simply did not have the money or experience to make it much better than it was.

There were other kids I knew and rode with that had the opposite view.
I rode (just a couple of times, thank God) with a kid in town who had parents that had enough money to spoil the kid rotten.
We were riding behind this kid's house, and I was on my P.O.S. AT-2, while he was riding a one-year-old Yamaha YZ-80.
I thought that kid's YZ was fantastic with all it's newness glistening in the sun, and I wished that I was on a bike that was thoroughly modern like that one was.

Well, the kid made some kind of mistake and either stalled the engine, or nearly crashed, or did something that made him upset with his YZ for a moment (can't remember exactly what).
So, the kid gets off the bike and basically pushes it over and lets it fall to the ground, saying something like, "This f-in' thing is a piece of shit...blah, blah, blah..."

Yeah, you can probably imagine my reaction.
I pretty much instantly lost my desire to ride with the kid, which pretty much went along with my feelings toward the kid to start with, anyway:
You're a spoiled brat loser retard, buddy, and I'm thoroughly disgusted by your actions.
I'm outta' here.

The point of that true story is the difference in our backgrounds and what we thought of our motorcycles.
I still feel very much the same way, today, too.
I'm all for riding the bike as well and as accurately and as fast as I can without crashing.
I'll still leave the temper tantrums to the retard neighbors and the smokey burnouts to the girls wearing the pink tops sticking their butts out. :)

Off to jerk for another freebee Saturday,
-John

A High of 84

Just sitting here brushing my teeth before jerk.
I mean work. :)

Days are noticeably shorter, now, which can be a bummer if you think about it.
Sun now sets about 8:05 pm versus about 8:25 pm at it's maximum a month ago.
From here, we lose about a minute a day until the shortest day of the year, December 21st, or there about.

My birthday is December 23, by the way, so be sure to get me something very nice. :)

I haven't been riding my WR-250R back and forth to work in the past few weeks, at first due to either rainy weather of simply feeling too tired to make it fun.
A mid-season riding slump can happen.
The past week, though, is due to me ordering a new fuel pump for the bike, which I believe will arrive today, and I'll be able to bring it home with me tomorrow.
Why a new fuel pump?
Seems that some WR-250R models will have the fuel pump quit working when the weather is at it's hottest and the bike's engine temperature is at it's hottest.
The bike will simply stop running when idling at a stop sign, and it will not start back up until the bike cools down for 45 minutes, where it will start and run as if nothing happened.
I've had this happen twice in 6,500 miles and 13 months of ownership, so I decided to just buy a new pump and have it over with.

I first heard about this situation on one of the message boards devoted to the WR-250R.
Even though that forum is made up of mostly newbies and geeks who wouldn't ride the bike without either heated grips or a big luggage rack installed, first (or both!), I was made aware of the situation.
In typical geek fashion, members there have supposedly narrowed this down to 2008 models built in January or February of 2008.
Mine is and was.

Yeah, luggage racks on a dual-purpose bike.
To lots of riders on these bikes, it's apparently a match made in heaven, like cookies and milk.
Last fall, before I had the fire breather WR-250FY to ride off-road, I was in the middle of the Pachaug trail loop when I came out of the woods onto a dirt road where I met a guy taking a break on his Kawasaki KLX-250S (the Kawasaki version of my WR-250R).
No lie - he looks at my bike and asks how I can ride it without a luggage rack mounted over the rear fender.
I believe my answer was along the lines of:
Why in the world would I need a luggage rack slapping me in the butt while moving around all over the bike riding these off-road trails?
Amazing, really, when you sometime talk to people doing the same activity as you are on similar equipment, yet you can approach it with different intentions and have different ideas on what you're after.
To me, mounting a stupid-looking rack that just gets in the way is like playing a game of darts with a paper bag over your face.
Hmmmm.
That might work if you're really ugly, though, and your friends would probably thank you. :)

On top of that, I got the strong impression the guy was a newbie/geek, himself, when he mistook my dual-purpose WR-250R for a motocross YZ-250F.
Motocross bikes don't come with headlights and turn signal lights, folks, for one thing...

Off to jerk,
-John

How Can I Make My Bike Faster for 83 Cents?

Hmmmm.
Looks like Captain Retard is on the case.


It is pretty comical how guys will go on a motorcycle forum and ask the age-old, time-honored question of:

I just got a [insert whatever model bike the guy just got].
How can I make it faster?
I do not have any money or knowledge of what I'm doing.
PLEASE HELP!!!

I added the third line for sake of humor, but basically, that's what is asked every day on one message board or another.
Just yesterday, a kid wrote in and stated that he lost his engine oil drain plug, and the engine seized.
He wrote asking for advice on what to do and what the damage could be.
You could tell from the way he wrote the question that he was clueless, and was basically hoping that somebody would answer with something like, "Just slap on a couple more stickers, and you'll be good to go!"

A guy wrote in asking if a muffler from one model bike would fit another.
I replied that it would not.
Then, the guy posted a link to a YouTube video of a retard with the same model bike who'd taken a muffler from that same other model bike and modified the muffler to fit.
Naturally, the muffler was obviously Jimmy-rigged on there with custom bends in the mid-pipe and a home-made mounting bracket, but that was good enough.
Seeing how the guy asking the question seemed to like the idea of doing this, I gave him a bit of encouragement by replying, "Go for it!"
Of course, I was being sarcastic because the results were sad.
But, some guys like that shit.

Naturally, he'll probably ignore the additional advice of buying a $179 fuel injection programmer to make the bike run better.
Why?
Because he's got the I-ain't-got-the-money-to-spend blinders on.
So, he'll mes with the bike doing low-cost or no-cost "modifications".
It goes without saying that any bent handlebars will be ignored and the dirty air filter will be neglected.
That stuff is just extra filler that ain't as important because he says so.

Off to jerk,
-John

Where Were You in '82?

The 1982 Yamaha IT-465J, an off-road dirt bike meant for riding trails, racing enduros, and just about any kind of dirt riding other than motocross, where the YZ-490J was meant to be ridden.
Or trials.
Who likes trials, anyway, other than snobs?
The IT-465J was based on the previous year's YZ-465H motocross bike, and was basically meant to be the off-road version of that YZ.

I once owned one of the bikes in the above pic.
I had a lot of fun riding it, too.
Back then, all of the serious dirt bikes were powered by 2-stroke engines, and all of the 4-stroke dirt bikes were regarded as overweight playbikes ridden by nerds who just wanted to goof-off for fun.
The 4-stroke engines were big, heavy, and, in the quest for long-term reliability in the hands of the typical dimwit who rode these things and (supposedly) took care of them, under-stressed in the amount of power they put out, had heavy flywheel mass, revved slowly and not too high, and, compared to a modern 4-stroke, held a lot of engine oil.
They might have seemed pretty trick back in the day (because we had nothing else to compare them to except older garbage scows from the 1970s), but today, they're lead sled dinosaurs that weighed a ton with squishy-soft suspension.

The manufacturers like Honda and Yamaha were, for decades, very conservative with their 4-stroke dirt bikes because they basically did not want to change what they were doing at that point.
The 4-strokes like the 1983 TT-600K and 1983 XR-500RD were for playing around, and the light-weight and powerful 2-stroke YZ-250K and CR-250RD from the same year were for serious usage.
It seemed like this was how it would be forever.
Why?
Because that was all we'd ever known.

In 1997, the Yamaha factory suddenly announced that it would run a works (meaning a special, one-off bike for a couple of selected paid riders) 4-stroke in AMA motocross and Supercross.
It was trick, light, and fast.
The very next year, the first modern 4-stroke motocross bike went on sale, the 1998 YZ-400FK.
This bike made the old 4-stroke dirt bikes of the past instantly obsolete for anything other than doing wheelies up and down the street in front of your house, and it was fast and light in weight.

They also came out with the then-modern day equivalent to the IT-456J - the WR-400FK, which was the off-road version.
Like the IT-465J being based on the motocross YZ-465H, the WR-400FK was based on the YZ-400FK.
It, too, was fast, trick, compact in engine design, and light in weight compared to the old bikes.
It was even lighter than the IT-456J in the above pic, and back then, that IT-456J was the best thing they had to offer for off-road use.

One-by-one, the 2-stroke dirt bikes stopped being produced, and now, there are just a few on sale for the 2010 model year.
My own motorcycles that I ride regularly are 4-strokes.
Trick, modern 4-strokes.

I think my point is that a lot of times, things you have access to won't be changed until those in the driver's seat decide it's time for a change.
Those trick YZ-400FKs and WR-400FKs probably could have been produced years earlier, but it wasn't until 1998 when we could buy one.
For years and years, it was believed that the 4-stroke motocross bike from Honda or Yamaha was a daydream.
They simply would not build one for you to buy.
Then, POOF!, there it is, all of a sudden.

Off to jerk,
-John

I've Got Gas

My grandmother and mother would always be paranoid about leaving the house with the kitchen stove left on.
Believe it or not, some people are saying the hydrogen gas wasn't to blame for the above incident, but the flammable powdered aluminum paint on the outer fabric was.

Bought and brought home what's known as a "plastics kit" for my 2009 WR-250FY.
A plastics kit is a collection of the plastic bodywork parts on a typical dirt bike, containing the front and rear fenders, side panels (AKA side number plates), and radiator air scoops (AKA radiator shrouds).
These kits are handy to give a dirt bike with scratched-up plastics a fresher look, and if you've ever gotten a good look at the typically well-used dirt bike, you'd probably think the guy riding it spends more time with it sliding along the ground on it's side than rolling over it on it's wheels.
Since I bought my WR-250FY used (it was 7 months old when I bought it last November) and the original owner did some ground surfing and put some "custom pin striping" on some of the plastic parts, I figured, "What the heck?".
So, I splurged. :)

One thing that the people putting these handy-dandy kits together won't tell you is that you still need to buy additional parts that the bike came with if you want to install these new plastic pieces correctly and expect them to last as long as they should.
Mainly, bikes often come with stuck-on foam dampers and heat shields that go on the insides of these plastic parts, making them fit snugly, protecting the plastics from abrasion, and shielding them from heat coming off the exhaust pipe and muffler.
Luckily, these additional parts don't cost too much, but the guy who doesn't figure this out is probably gonna' be in for a world of hurt when his 21 million dollar graphics kit winds up looking like the Hindenburg in that above picture because he didn't finish the job.

Better luck next time, Bucky.
Guess you weren't born too lucky.
Your wrenching skills are sucky.
And your tummy needs a tucky.

Hmmmm.
That might be a hit.

Off to jerk,
-John

Campaign '80: The Peanut Farmer With the Drunk Brother or the Actor

Ronald Reagan looking to make a campaign contribution.

I think he needs a bit more makeup.

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I used to follow the news and all of the political mumbo-jumbo on TV back then.

Basically, I was led to believe that all kinds of problems would just develop on their own, and our leaders in the political world would be springing into action, working feverishly to deal with these sudden and unexpected crisis.

All just for the well being of me and you.

These days, I think it's all a bunch of hogwash, and I have a feeling that the big issues that spring up are planned in advance as part of some kind of plan that is, basically, meant to benefit a small minority that believe they're head-and-shoulders better than the dumb-dumbs like you and me.

I think that if you're gonna' be a career politician, you're going to be told what to do, basically, and if you don't, you're going to be railroaded out, eventually.

......................................................................

.......................................................................

Might sound like I'm paranoid or some kind of conspiracy theory believer, but, that's basically my feelings on world politics.

All just one big put-on for the public, where the evening news TV show is a big bullshit story that is never going to tell us what really is going on, and why things are the way they are.

I was in my teens when I lost my interest in TV news for basically this feeling, a feeling where I wasn't being shown or told anything but what I was being allowed to be shown and told.

It was just the same ol' crap, crap that all boiled down to nothing meaningful.

Just trivia to give you something to talk about and occupy your mind.

A way of distracting you.

Politics makes me ill.

.............................................................

...........................................................

I had a good ride last evening, although I hit the trail about a half-hour later than usual because i just had to watch the USGP MotoGP race, which was a decent one to watch.

This means I got back to the truck a half-hour later than usual, and it was getting pretty dark on those wooded trails.

My headlight was shining pretty prominently on the rocks and gravel that make up most of the trails out there in Pachaug, creating artificial shadows on the rocks sticking out of the ground, which there is no shortage of.

This makes those rocks seem bigger and badder than they really are, making negotiating the way home more difficult while at speed.

I made it back in one piece without crashing, though, and I felt good on the bike.

And, as expected, those new Bridgestone M22 and M23 tires worked like magic out there.

Love 'em.

This coming Sunday, though, I want to be sure to get out there on time so I can ride the whole loop I've made in decent lighting.

........................................................

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Off to jerk,

-John

79 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

A few nice guys on their way to Sunday school.


Well, I'm half way through changing both tires on the WR-250FY since I did the rear tire yesterday afternoon.
Actually, since the rear takes more effort because there are more parts involved and the tire, itself, is more difficult to lever on and off the rim, I'm really more than half way through.
Probably about 65% done.
I'll do the front in a little bit before I go on my usual Sunday trail ride in the Pachaug state forest, AKA state rock pile. :)

Edit:
Got the front tire changed and I've got the bike ready to go with the usual pre-ride maintenance.
The thing that I hope doesn't happen by the time I hit the trails is I hope for no rain.
There's a chance of it, and if things get wet, all of those nice rocks and tree roots sticking out of the ground can be very slippery, indeed, if you run your front tire over them at an angle.
Ask me how I know this. :)
Even if it rains, I'll still go for the ride, but the pace will have to be reduced in certain areas.
This is a bit of a drag if it happens, but, I've done it plenty of times, before.

-John

I'll Take 78 Hits of Acid, Alex

Anyone who's ever taken drugs, raise your hand.

Hmmmmm.

Interesting results.

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Went and got my storytime book read to me by the Town Selectperson yesterday morning.

Supposedly, my lawyer-speak official document says that if I sign on the line, I'm giving the big, bad Town of Sprague permission to modify the area where a stretch of my property meets the road.

The Selectperson sounded sincere enough, and I realize that there is a water drainage problem in that spot (ever since the road was resurfaced a few years ago, that is), so I signed.

Oooooooooohh.

Hope I don't get sprung with a rude awakening, somehow.

We'll see, eh?

.............................................................

I really, really need to muster the ambition to change both of the tires on my WR-250FY this Saturday afternoon.

Both tires are worn enough to be noticeable, and the bike is so good with the way it works and feels, the bike deserves to have fresh tires kept on it.

I don't really hate changing tires, but I think it's enough of a drag to procrastinate.

The thing is, once I get myself going on the project, I have little trouble getting it done.

So, I hope I can give my ambition a jump-start and just do it, like they say on some dumb commercial.

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Off to jerk,

-John

77 Upside-Down spells LL

Gonna' go see the Town Selectperson in a little bit.
It's storybook time. :)

Just read a little bit more motorcycle message board silliness.
A guy claimed just a couple weeks ago that he was a dirt bike newbie, so he bought the same bike I ride on the state forest trails:
A 2009 Yamaha WR-250F.
Then he asks questions that tells you he doesn't even know how to ride, like asking how he can ride better so he can shift out of 1st gear.
Really.
Now, he's asking how he can increase the performance of his bike by changing the sizes of the sprockets.

The guy's either bullshitting us, or should leave well enough alone and learn how to ride the bike effectively and put any extra effort in learning how to maintain the bike.
I get the strong feeling he's yet another rider who'll sweat the details like what stickers are the ones to get while he forgets about his air filter, something that needs frequent (and correct) maintenance.

Off to jerk,
-John

Freedom '76: Dick Nixon...Before He Dicks You

I watched the infamous Watergate hearings on TV and remember wondering what had gone wrong with some gate holding back the water, somewhere.

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I got a call from the town First Selectman yesterday, and tomorrow morning at 8:00am, I'm to meet with her and get a (hopfully) satisfactory translation as to what my official-looking document really means.

I wonder if she'd rather be called the First Selectperson.

......................................................

I ordered and yesterday received my new motocross/dirt bike boots:

Sidi Crossfire TAs in black.

Awesome-feeling boot, and I was in heaven when I tried them on.

Felt as snug as a bug in a rug, even better than the Sidi Vortex boots I'm wearing right now when I ride.

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Why new boots?

Nothing lasts forever, and it's typical that I'll get a year-or-so out of a pair of boots.

Specifically, the boots I use now have a plastic guard sewn on the inside of the ankle area, and this guard, after being bent and flexed a million times, is coming unsewn and sometimes catches on my WR-250FY frame above the footpegs.

Otherwise, they're still in good shape, but the writing's on the wall:

Get a new pair for off-road use, and use the older ones for street use on the WR-250RX.

When I buy them this Saturday and bring them home, I'll post a pic.

I think I'll nickname them the Sidi Crossfire T and A.

You know what that means, don'cha?

Oooohh, I'm a bad boy. :)

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Switching gears...

I have to get a chuckle whenever I read about guys riding those so-called "adventure bikes" off-road.

Do you know what these adventure bikes are?

They are motorcycles that are basically street bikes - with all of the weight and size of a street bike from their large engines and large frames along with street tires - that are being sales pitched to riders as something that can be ridden off-road as well as on the street.

............................................................

To me, this is comical.

The only thing dirt bike about these tanks is the styling, and even that isn't like your typical dirt bike, but more like the land barges that are ridden in desert rallies like the old Paris to Dakar.

They've even got low-hanging exhaust pipes on them and exposed engine crankcases just waiting to take a rock.

.......................................................................

I've written a few posts on message boards about these bikes, asking if riders out there really think of them as dirt-worthy bikes.

This was basically done as an experiment to see what kind of answers I'd get.

And, sure enough, there are guys who'll insist on riding these bikes well off the paved road, and then write about how the front suspension ain't too good over bumps off road.

Well, that's because it barely works well enough to get you buy on the much smoother paved road, Bucky, never mind the 100-plus pound weight penalty over a bike truly intended for that stuff.

................................................................

The most offensive thing about these "adventure bikes" is the marketing pitch used that created this stupid adventure bike category in the first place.

To me, it would highly annoying if I had to sit down and listen to some sales guru try to convince me to buy one of these, or even to just like them.

This is because the marketing people are simply lying to everyone by implying they should get anywhere near an off-road riding area.

It's just another snake-oil-salesman technique to sell more bikes.

I know I'm not alone - any of the guys I rode with back in the day would say the same thing:

Off-road bike?

I don't think so.

My opinion is that anybody falling for this shit is either a newbie or a serious geek.

Hmmmmmmm.

Maybe Mr. Serious Geek has one.

I'd like for him to crack his crankcase on a big rock out in the middle of nowhere. :)

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Off to jerk,

-John

We're Gonna' Party Like It's '75

A behind-the-scenes shot of J.P. Morgan conferring with one of his advisers.

Went to the Town Hall yesterday morning to ask about getting my official-looking
document translated from crypt language into plain English.
The Town Selectman is supposed to call me back and set up an appointment to do this.
Oh, boy!
It'll be like storybook time back in the 1st grade!

Been a bit disappointed in my usual motorcycles message boards the past week-or-so because things are a bit boring right now.
The only thing interesting (disgusting, more like) is reading how a couple of shit-stirrers are basically sounding like know-it-all wise-asses by making controversial posts and then challenging anybody that posts something remotely in disagreement with it.
The irony is that when it comes to their actual motorcycle knowledge, it's obviously sorely lacking to me.
This is something that basically makes me not have a whole lot of respect for their message board mannerisms.
I mean:
I'm going to have a lot of trouble wanting to listen to any supposed wisdom from a guy who sounds like he expects his motard (dirt bike with street sport radial tires) to actually handle well in sandy terrain.
Ummmm, hello there, buddy.
It never will, OK?
I think it's because you're running full-on STREET PAVEMENT TIRES.

Actually, I get a kick out of these motard riders who buy these tires that are merely street radials with more tread grooves in them and have visions of doing some dirt bike riding.
I also get a kick out of these same loudmouths who will bitch loudly about how the seat on their dual-purpose bike sucks because they've got a sore butt after a day's riding.
Well, maybe if you weren't sitting down on the seat in one spot for hours at a time, and instead, actually standing up a lot and working WITH the bike while negotiating the terrain you would be a lot better off.

On the other hand, it's obvious a lot of these riders are basically dirt bike newbies, and a dirt road that you could drive a pickup truck down is enough adventure for them.
Some of them are basically senior citizens, too.
I can accept the newbies and the old folks doing things that I know are silly (because I learned about the things bothering them when I started riding), but I draw the line with the ones who love to intimidate other message board members with their snooty, I'm-the-boss bullshit, yet don't realize what the air filter is there for.
It's these guys who really need to get a grip because they're just making themselves look awfully foolish to guys like me, guys who've been there and done that 30 years ago.

Off to jerk,
-John

Pimpin' Ride Tip #74: My Ride Needs New Chrome Wooden Wheels

The start of pimpin' yo' ride.

Chillin' like a villin'.

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I did my usual Sunday afternoon ride in the Pachaug forest on the WR-250FY.

I left about an hour earlier than usual, so I hit the trail at about 5:50pm, and got back to the truck at about 7:10pm.

I think I'll stick to my usual time schedule, next time.

There's something about how riding a great motorcycle and doing it reasonably well at dusk has always been a big turn-on for me.

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....................................................................................

At least the ride was a good one, even though I felt a bit less energetic than the last couple of times out.

Still, I rode well enough to be satisfied, and working that WR-250FY over the rough stuff and sliding onto corners and wheelieing into whoops was a blast.

Yes, there are whoops out there on the trails.

They form after enough traffic has passed over the same ground often enough, probably from accelerating rear tires gnawing at the ground.

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....................................................................................

Egad!

Some enviro-freak would probably shit his pants reading those words about a tire gnawing at the ground.

Well, you know what?

Fuggin' get over it, you big, fat hypocrite!

I suppose you're such a goody-two-shoes, never driving some gas-burning car on a road made with lots o' heavy equipment like bulldozers which required mowing down all those trees and brush, or buying products made in some smoke-belching factory (or a Chinese sweat shop employing grammar-school-aged kids), or using electricity which is generated from a fuel-burning power plant.

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Right?

...................................................................

-John

Sporty Spice: "I've Got 73 Brain Cells Left!"

Hmmmm.
I think somebody hit their head one time too many.


I got an official-looking letter (maybe I should call it a document and sound really snooty) in the mail, sent to me by my town's first selectman.
This is about the situation we have here about water running down the road in winter and spring in front of where I live.
The water seeps out of the ground due to a natural spring that's been there for who-knows-how-long.
It runs across the road, freezes, and makes the town trucks sand it practically every morning during the cold months.
The document basically tells me to go to the Town Hall, sign zee papers, and give the town permission to modify the edge of the road and the edge of my property (which boarders the road) so that they may correct the water-running-across-the-road problem.

I'd already been to the Town Hall about three weeks ago, talking about this very subject with a lady who'd left a phone message for me, letting me know that they needed my permission for what they call a "temporary easement", AKA doing work to the area where my property meets the road.
I went down there and told them that I had no problem with them doing whatever they had to do, especially since the area where they want to do this work is uphill of my driveway a ways and not used by me at all.

While I was there, I said that this whole situation was caused from when the road was resurfaced a few years ago, when the crown of the road (curvature of the road surface) was basically reduced to the point that water now runs right across from one side of the road to the other.
Before the resurface job, any water coming out of that spring simply stood on that side of the road, ran down the side, and into the drainage gutter.

The funny thing was that the lady's reaction was as if she wasn't even aware of that point.
Even funnier, I think it's amazing if the case really is that nobody involved with the road's resurfacing saw this coming.
My guess is that at least somebody knew this would happen, but either said nothing, or did say something but was overruled (told to shut up).

I mean, that spring has been dumping water onto the road ever since I can remember, and I've been living on this hill for my entire life.
Only now, after the road was changed, has it become a problem for somebody.
Damn city slickers. :)

I'm going over to the garage to ready my WR-250FY for this evening's ride.

-John

72: It's Freebie Saturday :)

Going into jerk for another Freebie Saturday.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
What's Freebie Saturday?
I'm not salaried for working Saturdays, yet I'll be working there from 9:00am until my shit that I need to get done is done, which means anywhere from a half-hour to 4 hours.
Today, I estimate 3 hours.

I should change both tires on my WR-250FY because they're worn enough to feel the performance degradation.
I have new front and rear Bridgestone M22 and M23s sitting right here, so I have no real excuse not to.
Depends on how lazy I feel later on this afternoon.

-John

71 and Tons of Fun

I think I'll always get a kick out of the typical motorcycle message board newbie.
Why?
Because they basically make themselves look awful silly to motorcycle riders who have been riding and working on their own bikes their whole lives.

Usually, when they ask for help on fixing this, that, or the other thing on their old piece of shit bike, they'll get some stupid answers from other dim-wits who don't know what their doing, themselves.
They often will get, however, one or two replies to their newbie question that is correct, accurate, and explains what the newbie has to do to correct his problem.

So, what's the newbie do?
Of course, he'll lean toward the answers from the other newbies/dim-wits because he likes how their answers sound better.
This is usually because the dim-wit answers sound easier, cheaper, or both.
Too bad that these answers are way wrong.
Oh, well.
That's how life usually goes:
There ain't no free lunch.
I mean, does the silly newb really think that just smearing JB Weld over the oil drain plug that he just stripped is gonna' be the end-all cure-all for his problem?
In his mind, apparently.

Another newbie mistake is that they often outright refuse to buy the Service Manual for their bike, yet they fully intend on repairing that rat bike they just picked up and use it as their daily transportation.
Outright refuse.
Think about that one for a minute.
They're asking questions that are gone-over in detail in the friggin' Service Manual.
It's poetic justice when the newbie cracks his engine crankcase because he insisted he could disassemble the engine crankcases of his 1989 Yamaha YZ-250W without the manual the bike came with (that can still be purchased to this very day).
Then, they'll make thread after thread on the message boards asking how they can fix what they just messed up.
The last time you hear from them on the subject is when they state that Yamaha made a poorly-designed engine where you need all kinds of expensive, silly tools to take the engine apart, which we all know is just downright stupid on Yamaha's part.
Right? :)

Of course, the newb's Super Mechanic uncle who works on old Chevys has a garage full of funny, special tools, but he NEEDS those because he's the world's Supreme Mechanic.
The Super Mech uncle was actually the first guy to tell the newbie that Yamaha's engine was poorly designed because that's not how Chevrolet circa 1971 would have done it.
Plus, none of his non-metric tools fit the Yamaha fasteners, which is another thing they did wrong.

I wish I was making this stuff up, people.

Off to jerk,
-John

No. 70: Where's the Clutch Lever?

I might start putting the post number in the title more often, now that it's getting up there.
What you think about that?
You may voice any complaints to the Complaint Dept. window.
Just be careful of the hand grenade at the window counter. :)

I'm gonna' ride my WR-250RX into work for the 1st time since last Wednesday.
I missed some of those days due to shit weather brewing, and some because I just felt too tired and lazy to really enjoy it.
I dislike it when I feel like that, but, even the smartest and most handsone guy on Earth can have an off day.
I don't feel too bad right now, so, I'm going with it.

Last night, I met a friend and lent them some money.
Made me feel good that I could help out.
To me, doing something nice for them is a million times more important than the money, itself, and I really don't even care if I ever get paid back in full.
I think you know how I feel about money if you've read my recent posts.
It's just a necessary evil we need to get by in this f'ed-up money system that we were all born into and were taught from the cradle that this is the way it is.

I realize that stating the above line makes me sound like some kind of bleeding heart freak/weird-o/daydreamer/fruitcake.
That's about the best way I can describe the way I feel about money, though.
Think about it.
What does the dollar bill on your wallet or purse really stand for?
What's it worth just in itself?
It's simply something that we all agree is worth something, to the point that somebody would gladly hurt you to get more of it.
I'm glad that I'm not one of those guys - I feel better by giving it away to somebody that needs it. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

Time for 69: Motorcycles Are Funny

What I really mean is that people involved with motorcycles can be awful funny.
Here's a typical scenario:

20-year-old guy on his GSX-R loves to clutch-up wheelies anytime and anywhere.
That means he abuses the clutch to make his bike do a wheelie when it otherwise wouldn't do one.
After the millionth time, his clutch quits working like it should.
He prices the parts to make repairs and starts bitching about how much it costs, and then starts asking questions as to how the work gets done because he's never worked on his bike, before.
Someone explains how you do the job, and the GSX-R guy basically says, "That f'in sucks! Why the hell does this shit happen?"

Yeah, I'm not making that kind of stuff up, people.
Funny, isn't it.

Why does this shit happen?
Answer:
Because you're an empty-headed moron.
A moron who isn't even bright enough to realize what you're doing while you're out there on your bike acting like King Shit.

The icing on the moronic cake is that a guy like this, when told to knock that stuff off by somebody who has done the same stuff before him and learned something from it, will basically say that he's gonna' ride his bike any way he wants and we should all kiss his pro-rider ass.

Have it your way, asshole. :)

Yes, people, retards like this are all over the place.
You gotta' laugh when some bozo is waaaaaay more concerned with what color seat cover he's got to buy for his KX-250F than buy a bottle of air filter oil.
Shit, the guy probably doesn't even know how to service his air filter, or when the last time it was done.
That's because he doesn't know (and doesn't want to know) the finer points on how his own bike is put together and how it works.
That stuff makes his head hurt.
He's much, much more interested in talking with his like-minded buddies about which alcoholic beverage is the best at getting you f'ed-up.
And, of course, that bottle of booze "tastes real good".
Hmmmmm.
Maybe he could clean his air filter in that same beverage.
Sounds like a sponsorship idea. :)

I got out of work last night at 9:15pm, which is at the far end of the acceptable range to me.
Actually, I'd always like to be able to leave at 7:00pm when the store officially closes, but at least I didn't feel overly tired like I'd been feeling too much while staying late, and I was able to get home and make supper and get to bed at a normal hour.

In a ground-shaking announcement, I do believe I'll be asking for permission to take a week-long vacation, and probably in the fall when there's great dirt bike riding weather.
The last time I had a bona-fide vacation from work was back in 1986, when I worked for a box-making factory that had a one-week shut-down every July.
I think I'll enjoy riding the WR-250FY very much during that week off.
I need it. :)

Off to jerk,
-John

More Useless Paper

In the mail yesterday, I got my $440 Connecticut income tax refund.
I sent it in late (past the deadline), and this is the reason I just got the refund.
I knew that I didn't actually owe anything, so what's the rush, right? :)

$440 ain't a whole lotta money anymore, but it'll come in handy come wintertime if I need it to pay for heating oil or the electric bill.
Winter is the time of year where it costs more to just survive, with the oil, electricity, and even more food you need to eat to keep from freezing to death.

There was a time in my life where $440 would have seemed like a fortune.
When I was in grammar school back in the stone age, some of the more well-off kids in class would be bragging about getting $100 for their birthday.
I estimate that $100 in 1974 would be equivalent to about $440 today, and when I was in the 4th or 5th grade, some kid my age having $100 handed to them free and clear was a mind-blower.
I mean, what's a 10-year-old kid need that much money for?
To make their car payment for the month?
Remember that this was years before there were video games, personal computers, Walkmans or ipods, laptops, digital cameras, and you could buy a full-sized candy bar for 25 cents.
A soda was 50 cents, if I recall.
A gallon of gas was 60 cents.
Yes, really.

So, $100 back in 1974 would last a typical kid a looooooooong time, indeed, unless they invested the whole thing in the stock market.
Or, handed it over to their dad so he could make the monthly car payment. :)

I hope to hell that today ain't another stay-late-at-work-until-midnight-Tuesday.
We'll see.

Off to jerk,
-John

Town Hall Taxtime

Gotta' go and stop by the town hall to drop off a wad of cash to pay the tax bill for this six month period.
I sometime wonder exactly where this money goes.
Judging by the roads around here, I don't think a lot of it has anything to do with upkeep on those.

I think taxes are the modern day version of the King's men coming around to rough you up and have you hand over a bunch of your stuff, or else they'd slice your head off on the spot.
Or worse.

Hope the tax collector is in a good mood.

Off to jerk,
-John

Double Stuff

No post on Saturday and two on Sunday.
Ain't that just fine and dandy?

Went for my usual ride on the WR-250FY in the Pachaug forest.
It was another good one, and I was moving right along at a decent clip.
I'm starting to memorize where the bumps, whoops, roots, berms, and of course, all of those lovely rocks are, and because of that, I've got more confidence and can up the pace.

I'm still impressed at how well the WR-250FY works.
Basically, just open that throttle, hang off the back of the bike, and you're moving out over some rough terrain, indeed.
That chassis and rear suspension seem like magic at times.
Very good feeling I get from this.
It's great being able to see a bump coming up, hit it, and clear some rough stuff without it even seeming like it was any big deal.
It's a great motorcycle.

Tomorrow, jerk.
Blaaaahh.
Oh, well.
Gotta' earn more of that useless green-printed paper that we're all clamoring for.

-John

Oops

Something shocking must have just happened.


Shame on me.
I missed posting an entry yesterday.
I actually sat down and was about to hit a key on my keyboard, but I decided to wait a little bit.
Turns out I fell asleep shortly afterwards, and the clock stuck midnight before I woke up.
Good thing I didn't turn into a pumpkin, eh?

But, I'm awake now, and I'll probably be making another post after my usual Sunday afternoon-into-dusk ride.
I wonder if we'll get a thunderstorm while I'm out.
I make a pretty good lightning rod, you know. :)

-John

I'm the Taxman

Got my bi-annual town tax bill sitting here on the table.
I think it would make a nice paper airplane, including the envelope.
I've got the money to pay it, no problem.
I wonder where all of this tax money goes, anyway.
I bet the vast majority goes into somebody's bank account.

Just what the hell is this shit we work all our lives for, anyway?
What is money, exactly?
I think the days where a dollar bill was actually a handy way to carry around a dollar's worth of gold or silver are long gone.
To me, it seems like it's just some silly paper that everyone agrees is worth something.
The guys at the top of the world's money system are probably sitting back chuckling at how stupid the rest of the world is, working their lives away for this silly paper.

A lot of times, it's not even silly paper with green ink and a dead president on it.
It can be just information sent by wire from one bank to another.
The money exists only in the computer memory.

I guess that this silly shit called money is just some crap that we've been taught is something we need and have to work our whole lives for.
We need it.
We need it to simply survive.
To pay those taxes.
We're taught it's worth dying for.
It's worth damaging your health for.
It's worth thinking about it 24/7.
It's worth planning and scheming for.
It's worth wrecking somebody's life for.

It makes me want to puke a lot of the time.
I got a big, fat wad of it in my wallet right now, and I really couldn't care much less about it, anymore.
You want it?

Off to jerk,
-John

Young Lingo vs. Old Spelling

I'm old enough to be one of those guys who didn't grow up using a PC and surfing the Internet.
When I was a kid in grammar school, there were computers, alright, but you didn't see them in everybody's house like you do these days.
Computers were things you saw in a photograph in a newspaper, a magazine, or on TV, and were used in a scientific laboratory or some kind of bureaucratic office, old-fashioned reel-to-reel magnetic tape reels spinning around.

The very few people that had some kind of personal computer were bona-fide geeks that liked to screw around with electronics as a hobby, and those early PCs were totally crude, slow, and not powerful at all.
In fact, when I made it into the 9th grade in 1979 (yeah, I'm an old fart to all of you young-uns), we were allowed to screw with the PCs the electronics shop had, some Radio Shack TRS-80s.
These were so slow and crummy compared to today's personal computers, that having the geeks in class write a silly program to make the word "HI!" scroll down the screen was reason for celebration.
In fact, I thought the geekiest geeks in class were going to jerk each other off, they were so excited by this.
I thought that this sucked, and felt that if this was the state of personal computing in 1979, I'd pass until something genuinely interesting came along.
No thanks, I thought - I'll ride dirt bikes, instead, and learn about those. :)

It wasn't until around 1995 or 1996 where the Internet as we know it today finally started to take off, and all of a sudden, PCs got a whole lot better.
It seemed like overnight, TV commercials were giving Internet addresses for consumers (you and me) to go to their websites and check out their products.
Within a year or two, it seemed that we'd finally reached to point where PCs were capable of doing more than being just a hobby for geeks with WD-40 pocket protectors full of pens.
I felt I should join the bandwagon, but since I didn't live alone at the time, I dragged my feet because I could picture spending the money on a PC, only to have it get smashed to bits.

Finally, in January of 2001, I bought my first PC and got on-line with the Internet.
All through grammar school in the mid-1970s, I'd been told that one day, I'd be doing my shopping via computer and not have to go to a store, but communicate with the seller via computer.
Well, it took 25 years for us to get that far, but it did arrive.
I liked it, and probably what I liked most was reading about subjects that interested me, as well as joining message boards having to do with the motorcycles that I liked so much (and had been making my living with for 13-and-a-half years by this point).
It was then that I was introduced to Internet lingo.

You know what that is.
Here's a sample:

hi
how r u?

Or:

lol im dying over here

I had to accept the poor spelling and lack of punctuation as how it was going to be.
Sometime, I'd have to read something a couple of times to be sure I got it right.
There were also lots of people who were pretty snooty and thought of themselves as Internet experts, using all kinds of crypted acronyms and abbreviations.
There was basically an elite PC language forming out there, and younger people who were basically growing up using a PC and the Internet were adopting it as their way of communicating.
In fact, if you weren't using this lingo, YOU were the geek.
My, how things change.
In fact, reading somebody's typing is often a good gauge of how old they are and/or how often they use the Internet to communicate.
The general rule of thumb in my mind is that anybody using this hip lingo was born in 1990 or later.
They're young enough to have not known life without a PC around, either in school or at home.

Off to jerk,
-John

Your Hotness

I wasn't really surprised when I walked out of the shop front door at mid day, yesterday, and it felt like I walked into a furnace.
The weather forecast predicted 99 degrees and sunny, and it sure felt like it.
Supposed to reach 95 today.
Welcome to summertime, folks.
No sweaters or buckets hanging from maple trees around here right now, that's for sure.

I typically don't get too upset when it's hot because I dislike cold winter weather even more, and the older I get, the less I like the cold weather.
I mean the kind of winter weather that freezes the ground solid and makes you pull your coat up to your chin.
That's for the birds because it's uncomfortable and puts a stop to my motorcycle riding.
I'll have to fix that one day.
I keep thinking to myself that after my dad kicks the bucket (he's 72 right now), I'll pull up stakes and move to another part of the country where it doesn't get as cold during the middle of winter.
It doesn't have to be blazing hot 24/7, just warm enough so I can ride a dirt bike in the winter and still sink a tire knob into the ground.
Another motivational thought is experiencing those nice-looking trails out west among the pine trees where Bigfoot lives.
Looks very nice to ride in.

Off to jerk,
-John

61-derful Posts

This is my old buddy Jughead.

Wow.
The number of posts is getting toward triple digits pretty fast.
I wonder what kind of a celebration I should hold once it reaches 100?
Anybody got any ideas?





It was very hot and muggy last night, and it made it difficult to fall asleep.
I'm feeling a bit tired because of that.
I read that the weather forecast is predicting a high of 99 today.
Hmmmm, summer is definitely here in full force.
We got the heat.
We got the long daylight hours.
We got the humidity.
I hope we don't get into a silly raining-every-day-for-a-couple-weeks wet spell like we did last July.
That was nonsense.



Off to jerk,
-John

It's Pizza Time

Mmmmmmm-mmmmm.
This is friggin' delicious.

Well, I didn't go riding in the morning because I felt like getting up without the alarm clock on my day off (weee!), so I went in the late-afternoon-to-dusk as usual.
It was another good ride, although I felt I didn't ride quite as well as I did yesterday.
It was good enough, though, and I felt very good after it was all done.

One thing that continues to impress me about the WR-250FY is how well it goes in a straight line over gnarly terrain.
Very good stability.
Great suspension, too, especially the rear.
The bike feels excellent when exiting a corner and hitting acceleration bumps and whoops immediately.
Just get your weight back and open that throttle - the bike gives an excellent feeling to the rider and that wonderful rear suspension takes the bumps while telling the rider what's going on down there.
Excellent chassis, which is a good thing to have out there in the middle of nowhere on a natural-terrain trail (no grooming here, people).

The engine is excellent, too.
For the amount of top end power it has, I'm surprised at how much low end pulling power it has.
A fantastic spread of power up and down the rev range, and very effective out there.
I wouldn't change a thing. :)

Tomorrow, work.
Boo!
At least somebody is supposed to come in and pick up their picnic table-plaid gear bag.
I hope they don't mind that I used it a couple of times.
I think I got all of the sweaty socks smell out of it.
Shhhhh.
Don't tell. :)

-John

4th of July with My Own 5-Valve Fireworks

Anybody blow any of their fingers off, yet? :)

Just got back from another Sunday afternoon-into-dusk ride on the WR-250FY in the Pachaug state forest.
Damn, it felt good, too.
I rode well and felt like I had a good amount of energy without getting tired and losing concentration from being tired.
I put the bike right where I wanted it, too - that's very important.
I'm feeling satisfied, and right now, life is good. :)

There's a spot where I ride a few laps around the outskirts of a grassy clearing with some nice corners, bumps, a couple berms, and interesting elevation changes.
I got smacked in the face with more than a couple dragon flies while riding there.
Maybe it's because they heard my fire breathing WR-250FY, and being called dragon flies, themselves, they wanted a piece of the fire breathing dragon action.
Well, I surely gave them more than they can handle because I'm certain I clobbered a few pretty darn good.
Right now, they're probably sitting in front of their little dragon fly TVs with their injuries all wrapped up in bandages.
That'll learn 'em. :)

Even though the shop is open tomorrow (last I knew, anyway), I'll not be needed at work tomorrow since UPS isn't running, which means no deliveries tomorrow morning for me to process.
I think I'll actually head back out there tomorrow morning with my WR-250FY and have another go at it.
That'll be nice in the cooler morning air.
I'll let you know how it goes.

-John

Nature Boy Goes on a Nature Walk Without His Granola Bar

Hmmmmm.
You don't see a tree growing up out of a rock every day.
Aliens must have done it while on their way to mutilate some cattle and make some crop circles.


Gotta' sneak my one-a-day blog post in before midnight strikes, so I'm puttin' up some pics I took when I went on a walk on some trails in the Pachaug state forest, today.
To me, walking in the woods is no big deal because I've lived in the middle of the woods my whole life.
If you stand on my porch and spit as far as you can, you'd reach the woods.
Birds are always a'tweetin' and squirrels are always a'climbin' around my place.
So, the reason I felt like hittin' the trails on foot instead of my firebreather WR-250FY is because I wanted to get a closer look at the terrain I've been riding on over the past few months every Sunday.

I've always liked to do that - closely scrutinize the lay of the land where I'll be riding my dirt bikes.
Since I'm on foot and traveling along at about 2 miles per hour, I can work out in my head what lines I can take or formulate a plan to conquer a particular obstacle.
Big-time motocross and Supercross riders will walk their tracks, too.
I think they got the idea from me. :)




Here's a well-weathered sign telling you what the Indian-derived name of the trail is.
Everything in that forest is given an Indian name, supposedly going back to the native Americans that lived around here hundreds of years ago.
In a way, I think it's kind of quaint.
But, since I'm really not an American Indian buff, I don't really care what the hell they call it, either.
I'd actually like to be able to pronounce it on the first attempt, myself.
What's wrong with Trail D?
Not flashy or nostalgic enough for you?




Hey.
That ain't natural.
Real rugged hiking men ford any stream put in their path.
They don't need no stinking bridge make out of wooden pallets.
I'm sure the bicycle riders that are vacationing up from New York City appreciate it, though.




Look.
Another little sign to read.
Doesn't look as quaint and rustic, though.
Looks more modern and business-like.




Hmmmmm.
Blue-blazed trail.
Did the Smurfs do this one?




Here's a sign that needs a bit of freshening-up real quick because it can barely be read.
It's supposed to say NO VEHICLES.
Hope they really don't plan on bitching at anybody on this trail with a vehicle since the friggin' sign is a piece of shit.
Where's Smokey the Bear?
He'll fix it...just after he's through taking a dump in the woods.




This here be Big Foot country.
I've always liked riding my dirt bikes in the pine forest sections.
The dirt is darker and loamier.
Too bad the trail goes to the side of it. :(
I wonder how it is out in Oregon.


-John

Taking the 5th: 4th of July Rip-Off

Not just because it can rip your fingers off with fireworks, but also because the 4th falls on a Sunday this year, a day our shop is closed, anyway.
Yeah, that's right - what's a holiday if it's not made special with a day off work, eh?
Firecrackers only go so far, you know.

I know that some places (like UPS) are taking the following day off (Monday, the 5th).
I suppose they're taking the 5th, eh?
Because how much work I have to do is directly dependant how many packages UPS drops off to us each morning, I may just have the day off, anyway, but I'd like it a whole lot more if the shop would just close for the day.
Period.
If I owned the joint, that's what I'd do.
Hell, even the places like Parts Unlimited, American Honda, and Yamaha Motor Corp., USA are closed on Monday, too, so what's the beef?

I'm being pestered by my sisters to go watch a fireworks display at a local baseball field called Tiger Stadium.
Last I knew, the place was called Dodd Stadium, named after Connecticut congressional-type dude Christopher Dodd.
I know nothing about the asshole, other that I first heard his name on WFSB channel 3 news (a Hartford TV station) back in the 1970s when I was in grammar school.
If he's a politician, that's all I need to know.
If he's a career politician, he must have a lot of stuff he'd just love to have you not find out about. :)

What's that got to do with watching fireworks?
Nothing.
Hey, it's my blog, Buckwheat, and if I feel like cutting down some politician crook bullshitter liar con-artist, I'm gonna' do it right here.
Why, you like Chris Dodd, or something?
Eh?

Here's a joke about another politician:

Ted Kennedy's last campaign slogan:
Ted Kennedy - A Blonde in Every Pond! :) :) :)

Don't get that one?
Look it up, whippersnapper!

Off to jerk,
-John

The Book of Face

So, I've been on Facebook for a couple of weeks, now.
My thoughts?
A good thing is that I can chat with and sent silly messages to people that I like.
I love to chat on the Internet.
It gives a different feel to communicating with somebody compared to doing it face-to-face.
A different dimension, if I want to sound all smart and intellectual.
You can write stuff that you wouldn't say in person and not get slapped across the face, for one thing, not that I'd say anything outright rude.
Really lets your imagination soar.
Distance makes the heart brave, as written by editor Phil Schilling from the once-was Cycle magazine.
So, all you nice people out there, log the frig onto Facebook and become friends with John Kuzmenko on the double and start chatting with me.
Now!

One thing I want to keep doing on Facebook is to become friends only with people that I actually know to some degree.
I think that simply sending a friend request to somebody I don't know or have never met or heard of before is just a cheap way to increase my friends count, kinda' like being a post whore on a message board.
Of course, an exception would be if some gorgeous girl showed up in the suggested friends column or sent me a request.
I think I could bend the rules for that.
I'm already friends with some very cute young ladies, but a few more never hurt anybody.
So, get off your butts and start a'clickin'! :)

Off to jerk,
-John