Could you imaging running headlong into this creature out in the woods on a dark and creepy night?
God, I'd hope it ain't hungry or lovesick. :)
I got up this morning to the call of some little rodent running around in the back yard woods that I don't remember ever hearing before.
That's saying something because I've lived here my whole life.
If you were to stick your head out my back window, you could spit and hit the woods.
Just make sure nobody is walking past before you spit, first.
Because I've lived out in the woods all my life, I believe I have a practical appreciation and respect for nature, unlike all of the meatheads you see on TV or see on your PC monitor screen, including hearing their whiny little and/or irritating voices condemning you for wrecking the planet.
How dare you mess-up the planet by simply being alive, eating, growing, taking a dump, and even daring to breathe?
Huh?
Explain yourself. :)
Whenever I hear the same old propaganda (bold-faced lies told to make you go in the direction somebody else wants you to go) about how I'm wrecking the planet, all I have to do is to think to myself how funny it would be to have one of these prophets of the impending gloom-and-doom to just spend one night out in the woods behind my house.
That's right.
The next time you see Al Gore, Bill Gates, Hilary Clinton (you know, that just might be her pic at the top of this page, now that I think of it), or any other like-minded asshole/liar/crook/propaganda-spreader telling you that you'd better change your evil-doing ways and do what they say or else you're gonna' wreck this extremely fragile planet by destroying the "delicate balance of nature", just take a minute and try to imagine one of these hopeless city slickers spending the night out in middle of MY woods.
No sleeping bags.
No tents.
No modern conveniences made in all of those evil-doing and damage-doing factories (that they may have vested interests in, themselves, but they wouldn't want you to know that).
That's right, Bucky.
I wanna' see these assholes make it through just one night out there in the woods, and we'll see just how helpless, fragile, and on-the-brink-of-destruction-thanks-to-mankind the simple woods behind my house really is.
To these bullshitters, it would probably be the worst night of their wealthy-and-spoiled-rotten lives because they would be like fish out of water without being able to put on their bedtime slippers, put on their smoking jacket, and read a chapter or two of The Communist Manifesto.
That's right.
The same goddamn idiots that lie to us telling us how we've got to drastically change our lives (in a way that, just be sheer coincidence, would also be toward their advantage) because we're all to blame for climate change and wrecking the planet with our selfish desires would be beaten to a submissive pulp by merely having to tough it out in the woods for one night.
What you think of that?
I think it would be poetic justice.
Naturally, these con-artists would have to be monitored by somebody that's actually trustworthy (anybody but themselves or their like-minded cronies) to make sure they don't cheat by sneaking their Eddie Bauer signature model tent or sleeping bag into the woods with them.
I'd live to see the big (bigger than normal, I should say) bags under Hilary Clinton's eyes after an episode like that, and the frown on her mosquito-bitten face.
Egad, what a scary thought.
Off to jerk,
-John
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