71 and Tons of Fun

I think I'll always get a kick out of the typical motorcycle message board newbie.
Why?
Because they basically make themselves look awful silly to motorcycle riders who have been riding and working on their own bikes their whole lives.

Usually, when they ask for help on fixing this, that, or the other thing on their old piece of shit bike, they'll get some stupid answers from other dim-wits who don't know what their doing, themselves.
They often will get, however, one or two replies to their newbie question that is correct, accurate, and explains what the newbie has to do to correct his problem.

So, what's the newbie do?
Of course, he'll lean toward the answers from the other newbies/dim-wits because he likes how their answers sound better.
This is usually because the dim-wit answers sound easier, cheaper, or both.
Too bad that these answers are way wrong.
Oh, well.
That's how life usually goes:
There ain't no free lunch.
I mean, does the silly newb really think that just smearing JB Weld over the oil drain plug that he just stripped is gonna' be the end-all cure-all for his problem?
In his mind, apparently.

Another newbie mistake is that they often outright refuse to buy the Service Manual for their bike, yet they fully intend on repairing that rat bike they just picked up and use it as their daily transportation.
Outright refuse.
Think about that one for a minute.
They're asking questions that are gone-over in detail in the friggin' Service Manual.
It's poetic justice when the newbie cracks his engine crankcase because he insisted he could disassemble the engine crankcases of his 1989 Yamaha YZ-250W without the manual the bike came with (that can still be purchased to this very day).
Then, they'll make thread after thread on the message boards asking how they can fix what they just messed up.
The last time you hear from them on the subject is when they state that Yamaha made a poorly-designed engine where you need all kinds of expensive, silly tools to take the engine apart, which we all know is just downright stupid on Yamaha's part.
Right? :)

Of course, the newb's Super Mechanic uncle who works on old Chevys has a garage full of funny, special tools, but he NEEDS those because he's the world's Supreme Mechanic.
The Super Mech uncle was actually the first guy to tell the newbie that Yamaha's engine was poorly designed because that's not how Chevrolet circa 1971 would have done it.
Plus, none of his non-metric tools fit the Yamaha fasteners, which is another thing they did wrong.

I wish I was making this stuff up, people.

Off to jerk,
-John