Hardly Ridden. Many New Parts.

If you want to get a good laugh sometime, go and read a few used motorcycle or ATV ads on Craigslist or some place like that.
Not only will you be chuckling reading some serious blatant lies and bullshit stories as these guys try to sell their junk for outrageous asking prices, but you can easily tell who wasn't paying attention in English and grammar class.
Proper spelling and punctuation is for faggots, anyway, right?

Here's a typical ad:

Kawski KDX
Runs good.no scraches in plastics just miner scuffs from rideing the bike in the woods.
Starts right up new piston and rings not evan broken it yet
less then 10 hours on new rings
Needs nothing
power valve just cleaned
Air filter just cleaned
$2200 firm
no trades
need room in the garag for more toys you know how it goes
call BillyBob on my cell XXX-XXX-XXXX

I just made that up, by the way, so I'm not displaying this and violating any poor sap's copyright, even though I'd be personally embarrassed if I wrote that, myself, and would hope that nobody had even read it to begin with. :)

Notice how the theoretical idiot won't even tell us what model year his garbage scow it supposed to be.
If he did, there's a 30/70 chance it would be wrong, anyway, and when he's gracious enough to include a horrible cell phone pic of the bike, you can often tell the guy doesn't know much at all about the vehicle he's selling.
How?
Because the description won't match the pic in a lot of cases.
Either the year, make, and model is wrong, or the bike (which is claimed to be mint) is a pile of shit, or both.
I especially get a kick out of it when the nerd writing the ad will go to great lengths to convince you the bike is a perfect masterpiece of motorcycle care, but the lousy pic shows a beat-up, neglected wreck that would need $$thousands$$ to be put into the condition he claims it's in.

Really slick.

On top of that, normal everyday maintenance items that will have to be done to keep the bike in proper working order are bragged about by the pinhead, as if he went waaaaaaaay out of his way to keep the bike in such lovely condition for you.
Things like chain lube and adjustment and air filter cleaning.
Yeah, they'll point out that the air filter was just cleaned.
Wow.
Might as well point out that you had to put gas in the tank at some point, too, you moron.
I'm not too impressed by that, Buckwheat.
In fact, if anything, the first thing I think of is that you never did it once in the 3 years you owned the bike, and only did it this one time in hopes of improving you chances of getting your $3,000,000 for your wretch of a crummy bike.

To close the ad, the bum will make it sound like he's got gold, something you can only come to him for:

$10,000,000,000 firm!
Cash only!
Hurry!

Well, excuse me for living.
I'll be right over.
Just as soon as my toenail polish dries. :)

Off to jerk,
-John