Giving a Hand

It's The Hand that Terrorized Plainfield.
At theaters now!



I'd been walking past this part of a mannequin sticking out of a box for a few months, now, and I finally decided it was high time to do something with this little fella.
No loafing around allowed in this place, buddy, whether you have a whole body attached to you or not.
I'm not playing any favorites, pal, unless you're special.





Now, just what do you do with a spare hand?
It does make a pretty good head scratcher for those moment when you're deep in thought or really straining your brain with a difficult problem you've got to figure out.
Hmmmmmm.
Now, what is 2+2?...




You can use it as a nose picker that allows you to keep your fingers clean.
Damn!, that'd be a hot seller, don't you think?
Everybody picks their nose, right?
I know that you do!






You could use it to break into houses in your neighborhood without leaving any of those pesky fingerprints to get you busted.
Tired of wishing you had that neat-o something-or-other that your neighbor has?
Wham!
Now, it can be yours while you sit innocently at home sipping a lemonade and watching National Geographic on TV.
The Hand can get the job done for you.






Shocking, I know.
But if politicians steal, why can't we?
You're just keeping up with the Jonses.






Hey, can I help it if I've got a simple mind and I'm amused by simple things?






A nice, shiny row of new dirt bikes.
When I was 15 years old, I'd be extremely excited to look at this line of fine motorcycles.
Today, I still am. :)







Now, here's a fine unit.
This is obviously intended for the rider who's into Barbie and Jem, eh?
Why do you think I have one, myself?



Off to jerk,
-John