334 Illiterate Idiots

Here is the real reason why some people claim that they don't need no stinkin' service manual to wreck - oops! - work on their motorcycles.
This person seems to be in the early stages of supreme idiocy, and is probably in extreme bliss since bliss is made of ignorance.

The weather on this Sunday morning is cloudy, and we had a short rain shower that wet the ground.
I plan on heading out to the ol' Pachaug rock pile to ride, once again, the ol' Pachaug enduro loop.
I'm feeling pretty good, got a good night's sleep, and want to have a good ride on the WR-250FY.
I'll be more cautious in the shadows where I don't expect rapid evaporation of the water on the ground (and the rocks and tree roots), but, I've done it plenty of times before in these conditions.

The above photo is my thoughts on the usual reaction most people have when they ask for advice when they want to fix-up the 1907 Schmencycle they just picked up.
See, the scenario is usually one where the guy gets a dirt bike for low bucks and has visions of roosting off into the sunset for a total cash outlay of something like $1.98 on that very same bike.
The catch is that the bike was bought for low bucks in the first place because it's a beat-up P.O.S., and it needs a lot of work and money to make right.

Well, the typical guy goes onto a message board, starts a thread about having picked the bike up for cheap, and asks other members for advice on fulfilling his off-road riding dream.
In other words:
He states that the bike has problems (usually isn't even in running condition) and asks how he can make the bike into a good runner that can be ridden and enjoyed - for low bucks.

When I answer, I'll always recommend he buy himself a factory Service Manual for his exact year and model of motorcycle.
This may sound like sound advice to you, but most of these guys looking for assistance take that advice like Dracula being asked to take a swig of holy water.
The usual reasons they don't like the thought of that are:

1) They cost too much
2) They are too difficult to get
3) They cost too much
4) They are difficult to read, follow, and understand
5) They cost too much
6) They "don't tell you shit, anyway"
7) They cost way too much, and this is a low-buck project, remember?

I laugh when the dimwit plainly shows he has no intention of picking up the correct Service Manual because, shortly thereafter, he'll be asking the very same questions that Hallmark the typical guy trying to get his bike running without having a clue as to what he's doing.
Yes, he'll scoff at spending the money for a book written about his very own bike, but he'll spend days and weeks on it trying to make it a go without one.

In the above seven reasons not to get a Service Manual (sharp readers can tell there are really only four), reasons two, four, and six are downright funny to me.
Why?
Because they are the kinds of things written by a complete illiterate moron, as shown in the above pic.

Where do you get a Service Manual for a 1979 Honda XL-185S?
Geeeeeeeeee, Bucky.
Did you try asking at a Honda motorcycle dealer?
Or, perhaps you were shocked that Wal-Mart didn't have a copy on the shelf, right next to the pantyhose and toothpaste (made in China), and gave up due to that traumatic experience.

Service Manuals being difficult to understand?
Sure.
As long as you have no idea on how to or inclination to gain knowledge and understanding by reading a book specifically written for the very same P.O.S. that your grubby little hands are molesting.
Perhaps you were expecting 497 full-color photographs per page explaining how you are supposed to reach for a 10mm wrench in order to turn a particular nut counter-clockwise in order to loosen it, Leroy.
Hmmmmmm, yes.
Maybe we all should wonder how that information was left out while we take a seat next to you on the blue bus, huh?

Reason six is basically an extension of reason number four, as this is what the numbskull shouts when he throws a temper tantrum because he's frustrated that he can't ride his low-buck P.O.S. after months of trying to get it working correctly his way.
Folks, what the dimwit really means is that in order for his inept brain to follow a Service Manual, it probably would need 497 pictures (complete with drawings of little puppy dogs running around chasing butterflies with human-looking smiles on their faces) just to show him how to remove the seat.
Since producing such a book would probably require 1,584,083 pages, I doubt that Leroy and his P.O.S. could afford it.
See?
He could afford and easily obtain the Service Manual as they are really written, but the one of his daydreams would be ridiculously expensive, not to mention impossible to carry around easily.

Off to the rock pile,
-John

Edit:

Today's rock pile ride out on the ol' Pachaug enduro loop was good.
There was water in the usual spots where it collects after a good rain (I wish it were like it was in July - dry as a bone), but that didn't pose too much a problem for me and my WR-250FY with the Bridgestone M22/M23 hard terrain tires.
Even though the tires don't work well in anything wet or soft, I got through those wet and mushy sections in one piece.

I really enjoyed my favorite pine-needled and whooped-out section today, even though I got the timing of a few whoops wrong and ended-up riding off the side of the trail for a moment.
No big deal because I just picked a spot where I'd make my correction and rode back on track without stopping.
Maybe someday I'll have the placement and shape of all of those whoops memorized, something that's hard to do when I won't see those miles of whoops until I ride through them next weekend.
Too bad I don't live right there.
Riding out to that section (and therefor, the whole Pachaug enduro loop) would be something I could do even after jerk, not just on weekends.

I'm looking toward going out there next weekend, and that's a good sign.

I also saw several illegals out there on motocross bikes and an ATV coming by in the opposite direction, so, I just pulled off to the side and waved until they all passed.
No real skin off my ass, just as long as we don't have a head-on collision someday.
That would suck - been there, done that.

-John