Here's a typical outdoorsy girl who likes to ride her horse through state forests.
Also typically, they're dykes.
Yikes.
I did go out for another Pachaug rock n' roll pile ride today (Monday), so that makes three in a row for me this long weekend.
I felt good, I felt good on the bike, and the bike felt good as well.
Just as it should be, goddammit.
I did something different for this ride, too, and that was to start the proceedings by riding about 20 miles out to a state forest in Rhode Island.
You know, Rhode Island, the smallest state on the United States union, also known as The Ocean State.
Maybe that's because if one more fat person crosses the boarder and enters the puny little place, it will break off from the rest of the continental Unites States and fall into the Atlantic Ocean once and for all.
God, I just hope all of the politicians are there and go down with it. :)
The forest is called the Arcadia Land Management, and is, basically, a collection of dirt roads going all around a chunk of acreage with trees all over the place.
You know, the kind of place that those air-headed types like to go to "commune with nature" (AKA environmental mental cases hugging trees while the very guys that fund environmental groups are putting up and billowing the smokestacks of all of those factory sweatshops in China and the like), kid themselves about how great it must have been to have lived back in 1801 when things were much simpler and more pure and natural and just like it still would and should be today if we all knew what was good for us and not so gaddammed selfish with the poor Earth's limited and frigile resources (as they turn the AC up to full blast and reach for the PLAY button of their CD player in their Lexus while texting a stupid message to one of their retard friends while trying to drive), and, most of all, the usual gathering spot of horse-loving and horse-riding dykes.
Being a national holiday weekend, I saw (and pulled over and stopped my engine for) about 6 groups of these lezbos and their four-legged friends, and a couple of them actually made for some minor league entertainment.
The first one, after seeing me come to a stop and wait for some kind of a signal from the slut, waved me to go by her and her homo friend, also on horseback.
As I passed along side at jogging speed and actually trying not to spook her big animal with a pea-sized brain, she gets all pissy and gives me a frantic SLOW IT DOWN type of hand gesture.
I had to laugh to myself as I just shrugged and yelled to her, "I can't go any slower!".
Goddammit, what is fuck's name am I supped to do?
Carry the bike past on my back for the little equestrian lesbian, or something?
Jesus.
Once I got into the actual Arcadia forest, I came upon another pair of his and her horse homos.
I came to a stop and shut my engine off, as usual, and asked what they wanted me to do.
(Hey, I'm there to ride, not sit there for an hour while they piss their pants gawking at the trees.)
The old dyke made a comment about she didn't see what I was going to do out in that forest on that day, and I asked her what she meant by that.
She then informed me that there were lots of horse riders out there somewhere, and I just replied that was the reason I keep my eyes peeled.
Yes, indeed - peeled for gay pride on four legs.
I spent about 25 minutes and 10 miles in that place, and quite frankly, it was boring.
I actually expected it to be boring, knowing that I was allowed to ride only the dirt roads and not any actual trails (too bad), but, I went just in case I might be wrong.
Nope.
I was right.
And a bit bored.
So, after high-tailing it out of loser paradise, I crossed back into the Constitution State (AKA Connecticut) and immediately hopped onto the ol' Pachaug enduro loop.
As luck would have it, just over the CT. boarder is where the good part of the Pachaug loop starts, and I enjoyed myself on my CRF-450X9, especially as there were no horses in sight on the real trails.
Tomorrow starts a shortened jerk week.
Hope it goes by quickly.
-John
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